We Drank a Toast to Innocence, We Drank a Toast to Now...

You know, I don't think I ever officially wished all of you a merry, cheery, joyful, happy and all that. And since I have last written, much has taken place...we had the Secrets & Lies cookie party at which I was kind of chill and mellow acting as hostess and having imbibed a tame three Diet Cokes and only half a flute of rose prosecco...but Latzy spiced up the joint in her fuzzy pussycat sweater that she was gifted only days before by Laura at our Dirty Santa bash with the church ladies. And there was the ugly ornament exchange, for which Nancy created a fine Christmas star out of pilfered wire hangers and 6

year old Christmas ribbon she found in my garage

....the look on Lynn's face when she unwrapped it still cracks me up.... The very next night we had Ann and Chris's annual Open House, again taking place on the evening of a snowstorm...which adds to the fun and festivity in my opinion, but kept me from wearing "the shoes"...instead sporting the 4-inch, gunmetal grey patent leather t-straps with my toothpick jeans as I trudged up their driveway in 4-inches of snowy stuff. And then....it was Christmas week...dinner with Karen and Suse at

Janice, at which we scarfed creamy mushroom soup and NY strip steaks topped with bruleed blue cheese and an unbelievable chevre, asparagus and truffle timbale on the side, and where for the first time this holiday season I heard my very favorite, "Do They Know It's Christmas..." Finally! I was beginning to think it was not Christmastime at all...(though I had heard that 1981 tear-jerking classic about the old lovers in the 7-11 drinking beers in the car by Dan Fogelberg no less that 100 times by December 1st...). And then....the rest of the week was a blur of family and food and fun and gifting and celebration and a brand new smoky violet Blackberry Curve...(yes, I said smoky violet...so deliciously sexy...yay!!..). So now, Christmas has passed....and only then did it occur to me....

Holy hell! 2009 has come to a close...

And you know, though I have no clue where the time went, I think I am ready to part with

her...to say my goodbyes to those moments and personalities that made '09 memorable or controversial or shocking or entertaining. So goodbye to the collective clawing our way out of financial crisis...and goodbye wacky families of '09 -- the Jacksons and the Gosselins and the Palins and the Lohans (Long Island's finest...) and

the Kardashians and those Balloon Boy people...and goodbye summer of death, I couldn't wait for that to come to a close...And, well....all right, ok... '09 wasn't filled entirely with bumps in road...for me in particular, there was self-discovery...and I had good times with great friends (Jughead Sisters...meet you at 12th Street Ale House next October!)...and countless parties and events...and best of all, I spent 12 full days alone with my kids on the Gulf of Mexico, and while I was there I did nothing but

revel in what I love most in life...my babies and the sea air and quiet distance....which

opened my eyes, and was an incredible blessing. If nothing else '09 gave me that. But there were all kinds of pop culture moments and events and happenings this year, for sure, like always....and I guess if I was Entertainment Weekly or Vanity Fair or Barbara Walters (ha!), then I would be truly qualified to wax poetic on the "Best of's..."....but truth is, '09 is behind us...and on top of that, so are the "00's"....

Like I said...Holy Hell!

I remember one night late in 1979...the end of my first decade on earth (wait, I am 29, what am I talking about...????)...and I was telling my Dad, as he tucked me in for the night, that I was feeling a little nervous to move beyond the

comfy 70's decade of my birth...it seemed strange to me, and I was afraid of what was to come...afraid of this unknown decade ahead (maybe I had had some odd premonition that acid wash and mullets and Kajagoogoo and "The Coreys" were awaiting us there....). Mostly I was afraid to be turning 10!!! As crazy as I was to be having such anxiety, Dad took pity and told me that change is always a little frightening...but that moving forward was good...that I had a lot to look to and do and experience and someone that I was going to become. How funny to think of now...but of course as it turned out, my Dad was right on and much of who I am, took form in the seemingly scary '80's...and my lifelong friends whom I always turn to have been with me since those very days...since the high hair and pegged jeans and oversized Benetton sweaters and zinc pink lipstick. And now....here I am back at the turn of a decade, another 10th birthday to celebrate.

You remember, don't you? While the rest of you were partying like it was 1999 and backing up your desktops and LANs and WANs and financial records and unpublished novels and Bloomberg machines ten years ago this week in anticipation of Y2K, I was

waiting. And so, on the very first day of this decade...of this millennium...I met my truest love, gave birth to her, in fact, after two full days of labor and all kinds of stops and starts....but she arrived the evening of January 1, 2000...and she and her strawberry blond, blue eyed, pink-skinned beauty and teeny, tiny serenity became mine. And here we are 10 years later....10 years have passed since Millennium madness...and for 10 years I have been Ellie's mother.

I seriously find it hard to believe that so many years have gone by this quickly. You know, I look back at pictures and I see a baby version of myself holding her...and it seems like yesterday that I was a fresh-faced new mom, with a new home, newly back from spending the "90's" in New York City.... and I had a new outlook...my sole purpose was being her mother. Ellie has been my greatest gift in that she was my first, and she showed me once and for all what it is to love. And she is filled with it...her kindness is one of her most marked characteristics...and she gives of herself without question. I do not know where she learned to be that way, because I am not quite so...and it is she who teaches me about myself every single day...

So in reading the coverage in EW and Vanity Fair and "The Today Show" and Barbara Walters'

insipid "most intriguing" list (don't even get me started....) over the past few weeks: "Best (TV, Movies, Music, Books, Personalities, Moments, Quotes, Recipes, Scandals...you name it...) of the Decade" I find myself at a slight distance, because my memories are crystallized by the fact that

I am one of the very few whose life changed radically and completely on the first day of this decade...what TV show or movie or quote or scandal could top that? But I must say, it is not just me...like a little baby's first year of life, this past 10 years has been an amazing period of growth and change for all of us, yes? I think we all grew up a little, haven't we, my friends? We have lost a bit, I think...our innocence...a few $100 million in Ponzi schemes...and that sense of security we always took for granted...and we lost icons and greats and heroes, seemingly all at once. But we gained this reconnection with old friends and loved ones...and in these 10 years I have made friends whom I love like I have known them many lives over, which I very likely have....and with texting and blogging and Facebook and youtube...as easy as a click of a mouse I can tell you all what I had for breakfast (Froot Loops and Gatorade, just like TL...) or that I love/miss/need/want you near me....which I always do.

So in celebration of this new decade, the beginning of my daughter's next ten...her most formative years ahead...we of course will enjoy our traditional pjs and Mom jewelry for New Year's Eve with the inner circle (Amber's salami roll-ups...Gwen's mac and cheese...yum...)...but as a special treat, I am taking Ellie and some of my friends' girls to the Big City -- Dylan's Candy Bar (I am hitting the KitKat station and planting myself...), the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA (10 years olds are aching for a

little culture on their birthdays...), "mocktails" at Aspen Social Club (no worries, we'll save cheap beers at Nancy Whiskey Pub for 2021...) and a girls' dinner at Ruby Foo's (ok, so my 10th birthday was a sleepover/rollerskating extravaganza at which we stayed up all night and hazed poor Sheila S. relentlessly (see you in hell!)...but times are changing...)... and I happen to believe the girls and I will make our own "Best of" moments today...hopefully for Ellie, these will be the "Best of" a lifetime, because I see as the years pass, that this is all we really can hope to give to our loved ones...happy moments, many laughs, beautiful memories...much love.

So, my friends...that is what I promise all of you in 2010...and beyond. Happy, healthy New Year and lots of love...ten times over...

xoxo...Suz

Photos:

1. Lynn shows off Nancy's last minute artistic interpretation of an "ugly ornament"....crafted in less than 30 seconds and still prettier than the giant acorn...

2. Lynn, Sam, Suse, Latzy and sistergirlfriend Lisa sharing secrets and lies and cookies...all coveting Mary's fuzzy feline/Midwestern holiday look...

3. Some Jugheads at the waaaaay beginning of the 39 mile walk...blisters be damned, Jugheads 2.0 is looking ahead to 2010...

4. My three lolling in the warmth of the beautiful sunset on the Gulf of Mexico...

5. Suz in September 0f '79...visions of bad '80's fashion statements and hollow synth-pop on the airwaves haunting my dreams...

6. Me and Baby Ellie, September 2000...never let go...

7. Ellie as blue-eyes Pre-K princess, May 2004..

8. Joyful spirit Ellie squealing in delight as she exited Runaway Train/Thunder Mountain at Disney World, August 2009...

9. Me and my Big Girl Ellie, July 2009...never, ever let go...

Turn Up The Trouble...

It is 20 years out now and my high school friends are still a regular part of my life...you know, we

stayed connected through the years...a phone call away....and now with Facebook and email we can

interact and comment on one anothers' lives daily, just like it's 1988 and we are sitting against that lattice divider (RIP) in the Holy Angels caf. I guess it is the length and duration of these friendships that has allowed a certain level of familiarity and loyalty to each other...so, I think that is quite possibly why we are comfortable enough with one another to be complete and utter showboats and wisecracking, ballbusting gloryhogs when we hit the scene together...you know, as misguided as we may be, we find ourselves to be the most interesting and hilarious people in the room, so we cordon off in a corner and cackle and tell inside jokes and try to top one another by throwing quips left and right at people we hardly know. And it is all fun and games and in good spirit and with love...though, I am sure there are those in our wake who didn't always find us a joy to behold (like the poor sweet southern girl whom Bridget and I scandalized with our inappropriate jokes at Stacey's shopping party...two years in a row...).But we make an impact if nothing else...for better or worse.

So....

This past Saturday night we hit Casey and Marty's Christmas extravaganza...and the food and drinks and the cheery holiday decor were all top-notch, of course. The place was littered with Wall Streeters of every sort, Marty's co-workers and buddies, all along for the ride with their prim wives...and I saw familiar faces throughout the crowd, giving extra love and hugs to Big Tom and Dirty Diana, Casey's mom and dad. And so...I entered the room anticipating the fun....so what if I was the very first to make the scene out of all my friends. I have to admit...I was as sober as a judge when I got there, and maybe a little nervous to be missing a partner with whom to case the joint, so I texted Allison and Stacey furiously as I stood at the bar awaiting my Nicolas Feuillatte Rose champagne...and I chit chatted with a lovely couple who noticed me cutting the line after the first glass to help myself to more...they had come in from the Island along with Marita and the Garden City posse...but just as we began the game of "Who Do You Know...," Bridget and Brian finally hit the scene and I turned on my heels and embraced them as though we had been parted for years...and, make no mistake, Bridget and I had shared a champagne lunch on Stacey's barstools a mere 24 hours prior...still, I ran to them...

And so, commenced the night....

Soon Allison and Kevin arrived, as did my own husband who had begun his night catching up with friends elsewhere...and last but not least, Stacey arrived, her husband off on a hunting trip with buddies...or getting lap dances at some bar in the City, Stacey wasn't totally clear on which, but she cool with it either way. The girls all looked amazing as always...and let me tell you, I have been BFFs with Allison for 30 years...and I have known the other three since we were 14 years old...and they are still some of the loveliest faces I have ever seen...but forget looks, this crowd could not be more fun-loving...Stacey alone makes me look like a boring hausfrau, and when she is with Bridget, forget it...just pull up a seat and watch the show. Good thing Allison and Casey -- no shrinking violets, mind you -- are there to bring the ruckus down to a shout. So anyway, Casey looked amazing as always in a fun little cocktail dress with some peek-a-boo yellow tulle underneath (I rocked "the shoes" again...what else is new?). Bridget was wearing her Mom's 70's era hip-length black mink that was so Mary Tyler Moore I wanted to tear it off of her and run away...and Allison was kind of channeling an updated Chrissy Snow with her bare-shouldered disco jumpsuit...and Stacey was sporting some serious black patent leather holiday shoes, though Bridget felt that the fuschia bow on my shoes rendered them slightly less porno than Stacey's...hmmm... good or bad? Not sure either of us was going for porno, but I am pretty certain I could have found a few fans of that particular look scattered about the party....you know, the ones with the prim wives...

So finally all together and of course we had fun and we reveled and we sampled the apps and we drank the drinks and we caught up with friends. But you know how sometimes there is this one random party-goer who unexpectedly makes your night...who just becomes the life of your party? I love nights like that...I love hitting a wedding or a dinner party or post-work cocktails and finding this character there -- a groomsman or gay boyfriend or barfly -- brightening up the night, doling out compliments and hilarious stories and entertaining the room. And to be 100% honest, when you have Stacey and Allison and Bridget and Casey and me all together, it can be a challenge to a) get a word in edgewise and b) make any kind of impact on a conversation, let alone an evening...

But that didn't intimidate Al...Uncle Al, that is...

Uncle Al, Big Tom's younger, flashier brother...and let's just say that Al totally brought it on Saturday night...no shy wallflower uncle attending his little niece's Christmas cocktail party...no way! What a breath of fresh air...he was all dapper and decked out in the full-on Christmas plaid vest and festive gold tie under his sport coat...and he must have detected our act from across the room because he made his way over to our little group (husbands? I don't see any husbands...) and quickly became our own special little ego-booster and BFF...and my friends made certain that I was the butt of the jokes in response to Al's fun flirtiness, cluing him in that I am the easiest touch for dudes with AARP cards and silvery sideburns...those b*tches have me totally figured out. So we became fast friends with Al...and we girls were all giggly, batting our eyelashes at his sweet compliments and funny comments...and in our reveling it quickly became clear that Al was the party's 55-plus version of we ladies...wicked as all get-out! At one point Bridget and Al went out for a surreptitious smoke while Stacey and I chatted up Al's 23 year old son/wingman... and when they came back we learned that he took her for a spin in his new Benz or vintage Mustang or whatever it was (when I asked Bridget via text the make and model while writing this all down she texted back: "I haven't the foggiest!"...she didn't even recall the ride...just like an Angel...). So we're all laughing and enjoying the Rose champagne and the little brie and cranberry puffs and whatever else...when either Stacey or Bridget or both, not sure, touched Al's bicep and all I hear over the party buzz is this loud declaration:

"Oh my god, Uncle Al, you are totally ripped!"

And as I busted out laughing, I thought....There we go, making a spectacle yet again...

The other party-goers around us stopped mid-conversation to focus on the action as Stacey and Bridget inspect Al's arms and then shoulders...and I don't know, maybe the glutes too, those saucy little minxes...(ok, I am kidding about the glutes...). And they are saying back and forth to one another things like: "I can't believe how muscular he is..." and "Did you feel his shoulders yet...?" And then they are nodding appreciatively: "Very impressive, Al..." And as I stand to the side taking in the scene, I just find this whole thing beyond hysterical because my girls completely do not care who sees or hears or what they think...and I love that quality in them because it is totally genuine...and beyond entertaining.

And let's be honest, I am thinking a large percentage of the guys in the room were just a teeny bit jealous of all the attention now directed at Al in his Christmasy vest and gaggle of groupies in cool fur coats and sexy holiday shoes, all laughing like a bunch of drunk bikers or mental patients. Oh, and you could not miss the ice cold look some of those prim traders' wives eyes were shooting at their wistful husbands as they laughed along with us...priceless!

Ok...so maybe it's time to call it a night, round up the husbands and give Uncle Al back to his girlfriend (!!), whom we learned quite late in the evening, had been at the party all along...!!!! (she was a doll by the way and in good natured fashion she simply rolled her eyes at our collective shenanigans...). So as Allison and Kevin and Rob and, later, Bridget and Brian, gathered their belongings and said their goodbyes, Stacey and I sat in front of the fire and recapped the night, taking in Casey and Marty's beautiful home and lovely guests and incredible graciousness... And we pondered how much silly fun we always have when we are together...and how great it is to be brought back to 18 again...and to enjoy the night surrounded by old friends...and to be making new friends on top of that. So we wondered when we would see each other again...when we would enjoy those familiar fun and games and good spirit and love of the friends who knew you before you were a grown-up, a mom, a wife, a professional...a responsible being (debatable, I know...)...the friends who can make you laugh in one word or less. And we decided we should not wait too long....

So....

Dinner tonight with Sally and Stacey at Spice Market....three naughty little Christmas Angels making the scene among the Meatpacking District's tragic wannabe hipsters and displaced stock brokers....And you know, we got our fix of one another as we lit up the night over there on Little West 12th...perfection. And you know, I think the only thing that could have made the night better is if there was an Uncle Al who happened to be enjoying an Elderberry infused martini among the throngs pressed up against the bar....waiting for us...

Photos:

1. Already ensconced in our corner topping one another quip by quip, (clockwise) Bridget, Allison, me, Stacey and Casey...next we attacked the buffet table...

2. Stacey and I are quite obviously conspiring...

3. (left to right) Stacey, Allison, Bridget and me....looking festive and cheery...pre-ruckus...

4. Casey being felt up by Bridget as Stacey eggs on the fun...who doesn't love a surprise copped feel?

5. Stacey, me and Bridget with our new bestie and hot tamale, Uncle Al...my big fat head covering up his celebratory threads...bummer.

6. Bridget demonstrating her groping and ruckus-making technique on me...I suspect there were daggers from the prim wives across the room...and there is Brian joining the fun....

7. Stacey, me and Sally...fun with old friends among the wannabe hipsters and a flood of displaced stock brokers at Spice Market...

I Think I'd Maybe Definitely Rather...

So the excitement of the season is upon us...you know, that post-Thanksgiving rush to shop and party and revel and enjoy...and it's still early on enough that the carols and the frantic pace and the crowded stores and and the ingesting of too many calories have yet to begin their assault on my senses and mood (well, except for the other night during the annual Rock Center tree lighting when all I wanted was to walk across town for a cocktail with Amber...and it took me 25 minutes to get from my office on 46th and Sixth to Whiskey Blue on Lex and 50th because of the yahoos and out-of-towners ambling along too slowly and messing with my plans...). At any rate, thankfully I haven't slipped into Scrooge-mode quite yet...because I love a

good time...and there are so many great moments over the next few weeks...the Arcola Country Club family celebration, which was this past Sunday afternoon with face painting and magicians and Santa and balloon animals...and at which I drank 3 flutes of champagne and then winked at one of the geriatric members whom I caught admiring my shoes (they are a hit with all ages!)...and then Will dropped his new table pinball machine on the guy's foot...love it! Anyway...also upcoming is Amber's cookies and cocktails/secrets and lies party...Casey and Marty's inaugural all-night Christmas bash...Ann and Chris's annual open house....the church ladies Dirty Santa gift swap party...my office dinner/boozefest (Rob Roys all around!) at Beacon...and of course it's pjs and mom jewels for New Year's and Ellie's 10th birthday.

But for me the season really started with the annual kickoff to Christmas with the college alumni posse of New York City -- this year on a warm and toasty (thanks global warming!) evening, making my bare-leggedness all the more acceptable....and wearing "the shoes" all the more appropriate and festive. And speaking of holiday wardrobe, the men all looked dapper and merry rocking their Christmas ties -- TL in the traditional red and white stripe, Big sporting a brand new look this year with the green "Snow Crab" from Vineyard Vines...and I didn't really take notice of all the others, but they probably looked good too... So the evening was upbeat and celebratory and drama free, always a bonus. But, well...ok, so, I admit it...there was the point I knocked a giant pint glass over onto the mahogany bar and in-turn the hard wood floor...and it crashed so loudly and ferociously that the entire place stopped and the Class of '76 whooped and clapped and made fun of me relentlessly...Jago saying afterwards: "Just like a

Stonehill girl..." Though I vehemently denied responsibility and claimed the unattractive she-male bartendress knocked it over as she handed me a beer...she didn't...and no one really believed me...but I stuck with the story. So as for snafus and shenanigans, the crashing pint glass was really it... After the party there were drinks and dinner with my besties...extra drinks after the party was over had me arriving late to dinner, then only getting a brownie and a few sips of TL's leftover Malbec before I walked back across town in my four-inch heels with Kathie and received a come-on from the ConEd man on 41st and Park. This all transpired as I scarfed my very first street dog in no less than 15 years...nothing hotter than a chick in party clothes pounding nitrite-laden junk food...or so I hear. And the night came to a close...

But then, to top it all off, the morning after I received a traffic

ticket for cell phone usage while driving on Central Park West as I debriefed and downloaded the events of the evening with TL. He's a very bad influence....lucky I wasn't arrested. The highly trained traffic cop, who probably should have been arresting a mugger or a turnstile jumper and not harassing me as I gossiped, didn't buy my "spacey suburban mom" act and gifted me a $130 "first offense" fine...just in time for Christmas. 'Tis the Season!

So...a fitting kickoff...and the weekend had barely even begun...

On Friday night the gourmet gals had our final gathering of 2009 at Sharon's house...

so we all crowded around her festively decorated living room eating and covering the week's happenings -- as you can imagine, Tiger Woods and Meredith Baxter comments were flying around the room like germs at the YMCA tot drop...(trademark, Trish J...). Ok, so, regarding Tiger -- why are we judging, I ask...ok, so his taste in and the class level of his side-slices are questionable, but living in a bubble can

cloud one's judgment, my loves...And in touching on Meredith Baxter (not literally...) I argued that, after three failed marriages, I might also take up with a female construction contractor...at least that broad can probably fix a leaky faucet and put in a master suite over the garage...and maybe she has other talents of which we have no knowledge...I am just saying. And we debated these current events and scandals as we sampled our dishes inspired by our own family Christmas Traditions...the cheesy oniony toasts, my offering (not only

are they perfect with a little Veuve Clicquot, but interspersed with Marisa's fresh mozzarella, they made a fine and delicious hangover cure...yes, you see, that street dog and Malbec did me in the night prior...or maybe it was catching the late-night showing of the premiere episode of Jersey Shore on MTV that made me sick...but please do call me "S-Woww" from now on...). So as we threw back all the yummy selections...ADP's sausage-broccoli rabe pasta (which reminded me of the time I offered my sweet little darling seconds by saying: "more broccoli rabe?" and he goes: "I'm Will..."...I laugh my a** off every time I think of that...) and Sharon's pierogies and of course (it is Christmas after all...) we ended the meal with cake and pie and Suse's famous chocolate fondue -- girl talk, chocolate dipped bananas and pretzel rods...does it get any better...??

Yes! Because as is her way, ADP suggested we play "Would You Rather" while we ate. You know that game...the players make up these ridiculous circumstances and give one another the opportunity to debate the answer...why they would choose one difficult or ridiculous or morally ambiguous situation over

another. And I love this game and games like it, especially when I am with my girlfriends....I mean, I play it all the time with my kids when we are in the car and they are always saying stuff like: "Mom, would you rather get hit by lighting

and die or wear yellow everyday for the rest of your life?" And every time I explain that no matter what, I will always choose the alternative to death...and then their next question is: "Mom, would you rather go to pick-up wearing only a bathing suit or get crushed to death by a gorilla..." Come to think of it, maybe this is one case in which death would triumph. Anyway, thankfully this time I was playing with adults and expected that the questions would be rife with moral dilemma and intrigue...Each of us took a scrap of paper and came up with our own "Would You Rather" entry....I wrote two, because after I wrote my first, I thought of one I preferred...and because that's how I roll. So then we each chose a scrap from the pile and went around the table reading, and inspiring debate.

Right off the bat the first question rounded right back to the weekly happenings with: "Would you rather be Tiger Woods' mistress or his wife..." Ha!! Believe it or not, even with all the paying off and leveraging and gifting and deal making that is going

on...neither option excited any of us much....and not because of the moral issues surrounding Tiger's current situation, but honestly because we agreed that no matter how many billions Tiger has, not a one of us could muster up even a marginal attraction to the poor b*st*rd...not cute at all. I mean, not that he seems to be suffering any problems finding gorgeous romantic partners, but, well, he's not a hit among our set apparently. I know -- what a bunch of shallow b*tches we can be, right? Well, at least we aren't gold diggers.

So we went on.... "Would you rather...."

Be in a relationship with someone who had horrible dragon breath OR someone whose nose whistled when they breathed? All I can really remember about this debate is that I said, "Well at least you could give him Velamints and hope for the best..." and the Velamints reference just cracked Joanne and Trish up...and I told them my dad always loved those (he does NOT have halitosis, by the way...just bad taste in candy...). Growing up there were always packages of the black licorice Velamints on the brass table in my parents' front foyer. So Velamints I could live

with.....Marry next for love OR money? Ok, all you cynical guys out there...the women virtually all said "for love." Then there were those of us who said the only reason we would ever get married again is if we needed health insurance...such romantics, huh?.....Spend a night in an inner city homeless shelter OR live with a hoarder? No contest after a few of us had seen the season premiere of Hoarders on A&E just this week -- ten years of garbage piled up in this toothless hag's living room, including the petrified carcasses of two dead cats. Swear to g*d!.....Be a wh*re OR a bore? Come on, that one was easy....no one likes a bore.....

Oh, there were more...and of course, we were partaking of the libations in full-force during this exercise, which in turn, had us howling with laughter far beyond the true hilariousness of it all...and as you can imagine, this made the night even more fun-filled...just how it always should be with your friends... And you know, so maybe some of our "Would You Rathers" may have been laced just a teensy-weensy bit with superiority or judgey-ness...and maybe that's not so much filled with the Christmas spirit...nor does it belie the true joy we had in being together, the fun we have with eachother and the love we share with one another... But come on, it's fun to giggle at the foibles of mankind every once in a while...like here, how about these:

Would you rather...

Be a tree-lighting yahoo OR get stuck among them along Fifth Avenue in the walk across town to share a Christmas cocktail with one of your dearest friends?

Stand in the corner and quietly sip chardonnay OR smash a giant pint glass on the floor of a bar crowded with people who know you?

Be so late for dinner that you have to eat a street dog on the way home OR miss out completely on seeing your besties to kick off the Christmas season?

Get tipsy on champagne and offer a fleeting thrill to an octogenarian

golfer OR be a grown-up and try not to laugh when your baby boy

drops his gift on said octogenarian's foot?

Get a ticket for talking on your cell phone while driving OR completely miss out on the post-party download?

Miss the late night replay of the Jersey Shore premiere OR be cured of

your hangover with some

champagne and cheese and bread and a snappy

game of "Would You Rather..." with your girlfriends?

You know...I stand by the options I chose this week (or stepped a**-backwards into...)...and hey, I think any of the above is preferable to finding out from Larry King or Nancy Grace or Us Weekly or TMZ.com that you are actually one of nine of your married, billionaire sugar daddy's pole-dancing side slices...ouch!

Joy to the World...Joy to You and Me...

love ya! S-Woww

Photos:

1. The first of many this season...how many days 'til New Years?

2. Ellie and me at the Arcola Country Club party...she in painted face, and I in my giant fake diamond-cross...aka "mom jewelry"...

3. I walked all the way across town in those babies for half a brownie and some Malbec residue...and I'd do it all over again!

4. RJP and some Brooklyn Lager fill in for the she-male bartendress and empty pint glass...but if I told you this was a shot of the actual moment, you would have bought it...no?

5. That poor woman is being mugged while the NYPD has the whole force out looking for me and my rogue hand-held cell phone...

6. ADP toasting with something warm and alcoholic...all horny like a Reindeer...

7. TJ brings me my order...all I need is some fresh mozzarella and the street dog hangover is history...

8. ADP, Janice, Tracy, Kerry and Robyn a few weeks back...the pre-Season gourmets...

9. Who hasn't slept with Tiger? Not cute by the way...did you notice that?

10. Velamints make a comeback....

11. Dearest Amber and I, sharing a Christmas cocktail during the Tree Lighting mayhem...

12. Will clutches his table pinball game...mere seconds before defending my honor by wacking the old coot with it...

13: Kerry, Me, Suse and Lisa...wouldn't you rather always be surrounded by your favorite friends? Yes!

I'm Bound to Thank You for It...

Thanksgiving is by far my very most favorite holiday in the history of the world...I am sorry, Christmas lovers...Jesus' birth is momentous and all...you know, I love getting lots of clothes and shoes and jewels and books all wrapped up in His honor, not to mention all the fun and festivity. And His death was even more momentous, for sure...you know, Jesus, was a central figure in my growth and education and the communities in which I have come of age...and I mean, who doesn't love celebrating His torture and execution and eventual resurrection with a few extra drinks at a scuzzy dive bar on Holy Thursday? Guilty! But let's not kid ourselves...Thanksgiving is heads and shoulders above all the rest...four full days dedicated to gluttony -- my favorite of the seven deadly sins as a matter of fact (anyone care to guess my second favorite....?). Thanksgiving gives us all those delicious seasonal foods and endless varieties of pies and appetizers, all greasy and fat-laden...and let's not forget the bottles and bottles and bottles of booze... And the celebration of slothfulness doesn't end at dinner...there are the hours on end of hanging on the couch, picking up your weary bod only to do some Christmas shopping online or to make one of those turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy sandwiches before you fall asleep again. Oh, ok...there may be some football watching and golf playing of coffee-breaking if you are feeling antsy...but that is IT. And that is why Thanksgiving is so unimaginably awesome.

Ok...ok, I admit that there is another part of this holiday that I look forward to every year...I can be sappy and emotional too, I think you all know that....so an annual reminder of how very blessed I am is an amazing and welcome gift. And to know that I should thank god everyday for giving me a beautiful family...healthy, spry parents and growing, active children...a lovely home and an endless selection of terrific neighbors in a warm, safe, happy community. And then, on top of all that, here I stand with friends in every corner of my life whom I love and adore so deeply, regardless of where we are, how much time passes, or what might occur between us...you know that I could not live

without you.

Of course I know that we are all thankful for family and friends and home and happiness this time of year....but as I was writing all this down and in thinking about the fun and excitement of this upcoming holiday season, my perfect middle child and my jealous and possessive youngest were both completing the obligatory lower elementary grade Thanksgiving assignment of collecting items they might be inclined to bring along should they be a passenger on The Mayflower....and while they stood gaping at me as I suggested they grab a bottle of water and some peanut butter and a good book and an extra blanket, I began wondering what else, aside from water and air and sustenance and shelter, I could absolutely not live without... You know, comforts, non-essentials...because aren't those things also worthy of being cherished this time of year? Aren't those the the things that make our lives with our families and friends and in our homes all the more beautiful and livable...damn straight, they are! So...this year I give a special thanks to and for the following essential non-essentials...hey, and don't judge just because they

all have to do with food, clothes or entertainment (shocker, right?)...I'll save the depth and feeling for the "essential essentials" post... Ok, here goes:

Personal grooming services -- It is no secret, even with my absolute love of food and eating and cooking, that I would rather starve than allow my hair and skin upkeep to languish....my fingernails to be unpolished...my teeny tootsies to become unbuffed and calloused. To me, weekly grooming is second only to showering and hair washing when it comes to looking and feeling refreshed and alive and ready to face the world, not to mention able to drop everything and hit a dinner party or cocktail hour. I have found that my desire for glossiness has become synonymous with cleanliness in my mind...and nothing bums me out more than looking down and seeing a dull, chipped manicure or pedicure. So I don't know if these little treatments are even a luxury to me anymore...in fact, I believe this beauty and grooming schedule is more likely an addiction...maybe even my own little secret adrenaline high...a little oxytocin via OPI polish. So ok, maybe I am a salon junkie...and it is quite likely that I would beg, borrow, steal...bring my family to ruination and damnation before I would forgo my quite large monthly salon bill...but at least I will be the smoothest and shiniest trick on the soup lines this winter....

Iced venti non-fat latte -- Starbucks, D&D's or the local Greek diner...it's what's forbreakfast.

CoverGirl Wet Slicks Lip Gloss -- a bona fide pick me up all packaged in a little tube with a wand, and available in a rainbow of colors. When it comes to lip gloss, there is nothing better than a well-priced, mass market goodie like WetSlicks...

Tivo -- by far the greatest invention of all time for those of us who are stubborn, self-important pop culture fanatics...yes, we want to indulge in as much mindless programming as possible, but dammit, we want to do it on our own time. Just this past Sunday morning I woke 90 minutes before my alarm...and what did I do? Not laundry...didn't go to church...hit the gym? please! Instead I caught up on this week's episodes of The Soup and Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives (Triple D!) and The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins...(what about boozy, big talking Brad trying to take on brick sh*thouse Darrell...what in holy hell was that utter f**kery??? Loved his juicy, bulbous black eye after the fact though...wait, I am the only one over 22 who watches this sh*t, aren't I?). And you know, even though Tivo and I spend more time together than I'd like to admit, a nice, unexpected side effect is that my social life has expanded exponentially now that I can skip out on Thursday nights without worrying about missing Project Runway or Survivor or, god forbid The First 48...I can't let a week pass without my fill of Tim Gunn, hidden immunity idols, or human suffering and gore via the Memphis PD. Thanks, Tivo!

The J. Crew "Jackie" cardigan -- fitted lightweight cotton, I have 7 of these little wardrobe essentials in a variety of colors...black and navy getting the biggest workout of the bunch though you have certainly seen the green as well... I top almost every outfit with one of these...a sartorial lifesaver of sorts...

The Farmer's Market -- I love to cook...and I love food...and I love fresh ingredients....and farm markets just do it for me. I don't know, those baskets overflowing with red tomatoes and green peppers and orange squash and purple eggplant and an endless selection of fresh herbs and...well, it's like live food porn...a foodie peep show, if you will. We are lucky to have one of the few working farms in the state right here in Wyckoff...and at any given moment (except Sundays, welcome to Bergen County...) we can just run right over to Abma's and check out the daily stock and create menus around their home-grown produce, farmed chickens and pigs. I am there almost every single day, planning our family dinners as I go...I could not live without that experience...so mark my words, if and when Abma's leaves town, so too will I...

Bravo's "Reality" and "Reality Competition" programming -- Bravo's entire

line-up completely sucks me in for many reasons, but mainly because it seems less smarmy and vomit-inducing as, say, E! does with their lock on the insipid celebutante (Keeping Up with the Kardashians...) and cracked out Vegas stripper (Rock of Love Bus...) market. Truly, I could go on forever about Flipping Out!, Real Housewives...you name it...but my first loves are Top Chef and past seasons of Project Runway, those addictive professional competitions filled with great works of culinary art and fashion design created under extraordinary circumstances week after week...and it's like I am being educated via "reality"...introduced to new terms and techniques and products and concepts as I loaf and snuggle with my snugglebunnies...and so, you know, I don't feel so loafy and lame. In fact, now after watching every season of both shows, I have convinced myself that I am fully qualified to be a professional fashion or food critic ("The components of that dish just weren't cohesive..." or "That garment was so poorly constructed..."). A degree by Bravo...if only they had offered that at Stonehill I would have graduated summa cum laude for sure...

My glass "fish" earrings from The Island Shop in Bermuda -- I am a Pisces...I am drawn to "fish" and coastal themed items, always have been...and on a visit to The Island Shop in Hamilton, Bermuda a few years back, I walked right over to the display counter with the multi-colored hand-made glass beaded jewelry, saw the fish earrings dangling there, calling to me...so, I made them mine....and we've been a happy couple ever since.

Cupcakes -- hand-held heaven, stacked high with buttercream... I cannot be the only one who is immediately transported to my 6th birthday party when I catch sight of a tray of cupcakes. I don't care if they are the classic Duncan Hines variety with the pre-fab icing or one of those pillowy concoctions from Magnolia Bakery with their pastel candy toppings...my mood is lightened with one bite...

Girls' Nights/Weekends -- Really, after over a year of covering in this very blog why I love time with my girlfriends so very much, do I need to elaborate?...I don't think so either...

The "Cheese Plate" -- If there was one food on which I had to agree to subsist for the remainder of my time on earth, I would have no problem choosing...not a moment's hesitation. It would be, of course, cheese. And you know me well enough to know that I don't mean any old Kraft singles or Laughing Cow cr*p...I am talking artisanal offerings and farmstead products made with the milk of grass-fed sheep and goats and cows. I never pass up the cheese course on a menu...I never pass the cheese counter or walk by the cheese shop...I linger all afternoon at tastings. I could not even begin to name my favorites, because each visit to the cheese shop brings me a new one to love (though I suggest La Tur and Germain Langres for your holiday table...). I could be bribed into just about anything with a great cheese. Add a crusty baguette and a great bottle of Cabernet and I am yours for good...as simple as that...

But you know, my friends, even as I look back and am thankful for these many comforts, it is clear to me that without all of you to experience these delights with, they would certainly lose their luster. You know, manicures are much more fun with chit chat on the side...and a latte is always more tasty when enjoyed socially...and what good is a new lip gloss without being able to share a juicy kiss on top of it...and all the Tivo-ing of BravoTV shows and fondling of farm

market food porn could never excite me more than the snuggling with the snugglebunnies...and who needs a cute sweater or pretty earrings without a room full of

besties to tell you how

great you look in them....and there is nothing on earth better than that cheese plate and crusty baguette and delicious wine when they are, in fact, shared by (at least) two...

So...it really is all of you that I cannot live without...and I am beyond thankful to have you...

With all my love this Thanksgiving...Suz

Photos:

1. My perfect middle child one Thanksgiving past making an attempt to drop his vegetarianism by snagging the last drumstick...it didn't stick...but notice his placemat says he is thankful for Mommy & Daddy...told you he was perfect...

2. My three perfect little darlings, snugglebunnies and greatest blessings of all, bar none...

3. Having my "smoky eyes" applied (professionally) under the watchful eye of Patrick's portrait...in his mother's dining room...

4. That iced latte looks so luscious and satisfying...I am dying to lick the screen...

5. (left to right) Colleen, Pina, Mary and me...looking bright and shiny and pulled together in my bright green "Jackie" cardigan...

6. My future colleagues at the Top Chef judges table...I belong right there between Tom and Padma, no?

7. This shot has it all....a tray of cupcakes in hand, glass fish earrings dangling, a little Wetslicks glistening on my lips and great lighting...I am making this my next passport shot too...

8. The cheese plate I happily scarfed a mere 36 hours before my tornado ride through Connecticut...thankfully not my last one (not by a long shot...)

9. & 10. An selection of my regular cronies, looking hot as always...all of you make the day-to-day and these essential non-essentials all the more enjoyable...so Thank You!!!

Girls On Film!

So on Friday night we had Sam's all-girls housewarming/cocktail party/quasi late night non-bridal shower -- oh yes...we had Sam as "non-bride" with her table full of gifts...Gwen as "maid of honor" presenting the gifts one at a time...Betsy was the "gift list"-making bridesmaid, Suse the "bow bra"-making bridesmaid and sistergirlfriend, Lisa was the "repacking and stacking" bridesmaid...I on the other hand was that jaded, wisecracking aunt on her third Tanqueray & Tonic, demanding Sam hold the gifts up so I could see better... And this all took place in her lovely new home on its narrow, winding street lined with the shady trees and pretty houses with white picket fences and window boxes filled with hydrangea in the spring and mini-pumpkins in the fall, all leading up to a cul-de-sac where the kids can play. So...it took me no less than 10 minutes inside during the pre-party "set up" (aka pre-party cocktailing) with our hostess and Gwen, to declare Sam's home of independence our new de facto clubhouse, crashpad and headquarters. Starting right about.....now. Hope that's cool by you, Sam!

So you have heard it all before...we ladies gathering, shutting the men out so that we can sip wine and pound various vodka drinks while we inhale baked brie with carmelized apples in puff pastry and little phyllo cups filled with creamy goodness and gooey hot artichoke dip and then late night mixing the contents of the M&M bowl with that of the salted mixed nuts bowl and going to town on the salty-sweet combo... Andthere is the gabbing and story sharing and joke making and the outfit complimenting (this party had an inordinate amount of like-dressers...Betsy and I in matching blouses, hers pink, mine ivory...Mary's sequined top almost exactly like Vicky's...and the Beard Sisters might as well have been the Beard Twins in their identical jeans and black tops....) and of course we touched on the mom issues...topic of the night: the right tactic to employ and how much info to share when telling your 4th grader what "It" is....You know...what is the purpose of "It"....how "It" works...what do you wear during "It"....why do people even want to do "It"....and my favorite, asked by ADP's little angel...does "It" work everytime....!!! Love that! To which the answer was a resounding: "NO!"

So even though my friends and I have enjoyed many a night like so, I always want you, by default, to enjoy them with us...and as such, I always make it my mission to mark these happenings by photographing the night from beginning to end...an invaluable illustration...I mean, how would you have enjoyed Wendy's party quite as much without the shots of Gwen and I at the porto-potty...and what about the Jughead posse toasting with those Coronas at the 12th Street Ale House...and there was the sheepish Gourmet/Wh*re-met gang and the adult toy party...and me and Ellie rocking out to the poppy craptastic tunes at her first JoBros concert this summer...and who would possibly have believed the havoc of the tornado drive through Connecticut without those post-apocolyptic shots? Yeah...the photos are a must.

That said...it has been well over a year now that I am writing this way...and well over a year now that I have been receiving complaints from my BFFs as to the photos I have chosen to display. And though most of you get a giggle out of being featured, no longer are my closest friends and neighbors quite so naive as to simply pose away and allow me to document every move they might make and the odd moments during which they are found chit chatting merrily with a sworn enemy...or surreptitiously whispering some juicy tale...or laying together on a giant queen-sized bed...or boozing so heftily that entire generations of their families are hungover in the days following. So...it is comical to see the reaction I get when I pull out that little aquamarine digital point and shoot...you know, they are making a big deal of hiding their faces and rolling their eyes and complaining that I only post pictures in which I look good....Hello??? I am writing this thing, am I not? I am no fool...but, make no mistake, I have also learned the hard way...I have had to teach myself the proper positioning of a good "self-portrait" (I am now a certified pro in that art form...) and how to navigate the "group pose" to have even a 50% shot and grabbing a good angle on film...and even with all that experience, I still end up looking like a sea hag or a tranny Madonna or a uni-bust or two ton tank at times. But those moments are not quite so often anymore....

So this past Friday at Sam's, I took a little time out from cocktailing and gabbing to advise a group of my girlfriends on the proper technique and execution of my signature "Turn, Twist, Tilt & Prop" pose made "famous" (infamous??) by this blog (apparently). And you know, this all started with some"good natured" ribbing (or shall we say relentless abuse...)...lots of giggling each time I took a photo and my friends making a big deal of trying to achieve that magic combination, but inevitably leaving out the "turn" or the "tilt"...and almost always the "prop." And every one of those girls, all abuse and ribbing on the outside, was taking mental notes on the process...so now we all have it down...now we will all look extra delish each week right here.

You know, I guess I never realized the look made much of an impact...though back a few months when one of my very besties told me that for a few seconds he thought it was, in fact, me who was the Craigslist Killer's girlfriend because the ubiquitous engagement photo splashed across the tabloids featured said girlfriend all twisted and tilted with a healthy dose of Suz style. I should have known right then that this was no longer my secret positioning strategy, but an identifiable stance. And then fast forward to the selection of mocking photos I found on my memory card after ROBtoberfest featuring Joe and Mike and Tim and Jimmy attempting to mimic. And though I would hardly categorize the "TTT&P" as one might the "Bend & Snap" guy-getting maneuver made popular by Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods, I guess it is equally inane and vain and silly...but damn, b*tches...it works!

But then Rob pointed out that there are an entire year's worth of photos of me in which I look almost identical, which he felt, wasn't exactly normal...oh my g*d...maybe he had a point...Christmas: TTT&P; Holy Thursday: TTT&P; kid's birthdays: TTT&P; vacation in Bermuda: TTT&P; post-tornado drive through Connecticut: TTT&P.....(sounds a little like "D*** in a Box"...). There are little variations in the smile and wardrobe and and hairstyle, you know...but almost no photos exist in which I am not fully aware that the shot may one day, very likely, end up being displayed right here for everyone and their brother and sister and best friend from high school to read and forward...which is the part about writing that I love most...the sharing...so don't get me wrong. But the truth is that I have many faces...you know, not like a two-face or anything...more like many different sides. And I guess I show those other "girls" to all of you in this forum figuratively...and I expose my thoughts and beliefs and points of view and emotions with a raw truth and unabashed clarity...I would say that about myself. So maybe the photos don't always communicate what's deep inside.

But damn...I am not sure you'd visit this blog ever again if the photos captured the real flavor of what was running through my brain at any given time...no, no...much too risky... And this is supposed to be fun and light and breezy and easy, right? So...let it be as such...and let me tell you all about Sam's party and how much fun I had "self-portrait-ing" and "TTT&P-ing" and just enjoying the night with my best girls....

...or maybe I will just let the pictures speak for themselves...

Bring on the abuse....

xoxo....

Photos:

1. An exhausted "non-brode" surveys the spoils....

2. Me, Suse, Betsy and Ellen...Bets and I showing off our fancy ruffled matching J. Crew tops...oh, and get used to that look on me....holiday party season is upon us!

3. Vicky and Mary....a vision in sparkles...

4. ADP demos how "It" gets started...all over Suse's cheek...while I "self-portrait" the whole thing....

5. Here I catch Mary and Kath in a private moment (well, maybe not so much....) on Sam's cushy, comfy bed...

6. Another "self-portrait"...Amber with an excellent attempt at the "TTT&P"...she's getting there....

7. Kathy, Amber and Sam finding themselves quite hilarious in a "TTT&P" mocking session...no respect for my hard work...

8. Mary, sistergirlfriend, Lisa and me...notice my well-"propped" 'do in this shot, another "self-portrait"...truly professional...

9. Me and Trish enjoy the night...and my spontaneous "TTT&P/self-portraiting" abilities....

10 & 11. Me and my sweet little darlings this past year...me sporting the sweet little old Mommy-version of "TTT&P"....

12. (left to right) Latzy, Amber, Sam, Mary and sistergirlfriend, Lisa, aka The Jazz Hands Posse, trying to create their own signature pose...kinda lame...

13. Amber, me and Sam....a final "self-portrait" with some of my very besties...