So on Friday night we had Sam's all-girls housewarming/cocktail party/quasi late night non-
bridal shower -- oh yes...we had Sam as "non-bride" with her table full of gifts...Gwen as "maid of honor" presenting the gifts one at a time...Betsy was the "gift list"-making bridesmaid, Suse the "bow bra"-making bridesmaid and sistergirlfriend, Lisa was the "repacking and stacking" bridesmaid...I on the other hand was that jaded, wisecracking aunt on her third Tanqueray & Tonic, demanding Sam hold the gifts up so I could see better... And this all took place in her lovely new home on its narrow, winding street lined with the shady trees and pretty houses with white picket fences and window boxes filled with hydrangea in the spring and mini-pumpkins in the fall, all leading up to a cul-de-sac where the kids can play. So...it took me no less than 10 minutes inside during the pre-party "set up" (aka pre-party 
cocktailing) with our hostess and Gwen, to declare Sam's home of independence our new de facto clubhouse, crashpad and headquarters. Starting right about.....now. Hope that's cool by you, Sam!
bridal shower -- oh yes...we had Sam as "non-bride" with her table full of gifts...Gwen as "maid of honor" presenting the gifts one at a time...Betsy was the "gift list"-making bridesmaid, Suse the "bow bra"-making bridesmaid and sistergirlfriend, Lisa was the "repacking and stacking" bridesmaid...I on the other hand was that jaded, wisecracking aunt on her third Tanqueray & Tonic, demanding Sam hold the gifts up so I could see better... And this all took place in her lovely new home on its narrow, winding street lined with the shady trees and pretty houses with white picket fences and window boxes filled with hydrangea in the spring and mini-pumpkins in the fall, all leading up to a cul-de-sac where the kids can play. So...it took me no less than 10 minutes inside during the pre-party "set up" (aka pre-party 
cocktailing) with our hostess and Gwen, to declare Sam's home of independence our new de facto clubhouse, crashpad and headquarters. Starting right about.....now. Hope that's cool by you, Sam!So you have heard it all before...we ladies gathering, shutting the men out so that we can sip wine and pound various vodka drinks while we inhale baked brie with carmelized apples in puff pastry and little phyllo cups filled with creamy goodness and gooey hot artichoke dip and then late night mixing the contents of the M&M bowl with that of the salted mixed nuts bowl and going to town on the salty-sweet combo... And
there is the gabbing and story sharing and joke making and the outfit complimenting (this party had an inordinate amount of like-dressers...Betsy and I in matching blouses, hers pink, mine ivory...Mary's sequined top almost exactly like Vicky's...and the Beard Sisters might as well have been the Beard Twins in their identical jeans and black tops....) and of course we touched on the mom issues...topic of the night: the right tactic to employ and how much info to share when telling your 4th grader what "It" is....You know...what is the purpose of "It"....how "It" works...what do you wear during "It"....why do people even want to do "It"....and my favorite, asked by ADP's little angel...does "It" work everytime....!!! Love that! To which the answer was a resounding: "NO!"
So even though my friends and I have enjoyed many a night like so, I always want you, by default, to enjoy them with us...and as such, I always make it my mission to mark these happenings by photographing the night from beginning to end...an invaluable illustration...I mean, how would you have enjoyed Wendy's party quite as much without the shots of Gwen and I at the porto-potty...and what about the Jughead posse toasting with those Coronas at the 12th Street Ale House...and there was the sheepish Gourmet/Wh*re-met gang and the adult toy party...and me and Ellie rocking out to the poppy craptastic tunes at her first JoBros concert this summer...and who would possibly have believed the havoc of the tornado drive through Connecticut without those post-apocolyptic shots? Yeah...the photos are a must.
So this past Friday at Sam's, I took a little time out from cocktailing and gabbing to advise a group of my girlfriends on the proper technique and execution of my signature "Turn, Twist, Tilt & Prop" pose made "famous" (infamous??) by this blog (apparently). And you know, this all started with some"good natured" ribbing (or shall we say relentless abuse...)...lots of giggling each time I took a photo and my friends making a big deal of trying to achieve that magic combination, but inevitably leaving out the "turn" or the "tilt
"...and almost always the "prop." And every one of those girls, all abuse and ribbing on the outside, was taking mental notes on the process...so now we all have it down...now we will all look extra delish each week right here.
You know, I guess I never realized the look made much of an impact...though back a few months when one of my very besties told me that for a few seconds he thought it was, in fact, me who was the
Craigslist Killer's girlfriend because the ubiquitous engagement photo splashed across the tabloids featured said girlfriend all twisted and tilted with a healthy dose of Suz style. I should have known right then that this was no longer my secret positioning strategy, but an identifiable stance. And then fast forward to the selection of mocking photos I found on my memory card after ROBtoberfest featuring Joe and Mike and Tim and Jimmy attempting to mimic. And though I would hardly categorize the "TTT&P" as one might the "Bend & Snap" guy-getting maneuver made popular by Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods, I guess it is equally inane and vain and silly...but damn, b*tches...it works!
Bring on the abuse....
xoxo....
there is the gabbing and story sharing and joke making and the outfit complimenting (this party had an inordinate amount of like-dressers...Betsy and I in matching blouses, hers pink, mine ivory...Mary's sequined top almost exactly like Vicky's...and the Beard Sisters might as well have been the Beard Twins in their identical jeans and black tops....) and of course we touched on the mom issues...topic of the night: the right tactic to employ and how much info to share when telling your 4th grader what "It" is....You know...what is the purpose of "It"....how "It" works...what do you wear during "It"....why do people even want to do "It"....and my favorite, asked by ADP's little angel...does "It" work everytime....!!! Love that! To which the answer was a resounding: "NO!"
So even though my friends and I have enjoyed many a night like so, I always want you, by default, to enjoy them with us...and as such, I always make it my mission to mark these happenings by photographing the night from beginning to end...an invaluable illustration...I mean, how would you have enjoyed Wendy's party quite as much without the shots of Gwen and I at the porto-potty...and what about the Jughead posse toasting with those Coronas at the 12th Street Ale House...and there was the sheepish Gourmet/Wh*re-met gang and the adult toy party...and me and Ellie rocking out to the poppy craptastic tunes at her first JoBros concert this summer...and who would possibly have believed the havoc of the tornado drive through Connecticut without those post-apocolyptic shots? Yeah...the photos are a must.That said...it has been well over a year now that I am writing this way...and well over a year now that I have 
been receiving complaints from my BFFs as to the photos I have chosen to display. And though most of you get a giggle out of being featured, no longer are my closest friends and neighbors quite so naive as to simply pose away and allow me to document every move they might make and the odd moments during which they are found chit chatting merrily with a sworn enemy...or surreptitiously whispering some juicy tale...or laying together on a giant queen-sized bed...or boozing so heftily that entire generations of their families are hungover in the days following. So...it is 
comical to see the reaction I get when I pull out that little aquamarine digital point and shoot...you know, they are making a big deal of hiding their faces and rolling their eyes and complaining that I only post pictures in which I look good....Hello??? I am writing this thing, am I not? I am no fool...but, make no mistake, I have also learned the hard way...I have had to teach myself the proper positioning of a good "self-portrait" (I am now a certified pro in that art form...) and how to navigate the "group pose" to have even a 50% shot and grabbing a good angle on film...and even with all that experience, I still end up looking like a sea hag or a tranny Madonna or a uni-bust or two ton tank at times. But those moments are not quite so often anymore....
been receiving complaints from my BFFs as to the photos I have chosen to display. And though most of you get a giggle out of being featured, no longer are my closest friends and neighbors quite so naive as to simply pose away and allow me to document every move they might make and the odd moments during which they are found chit chatting merrily with a sworn enemy...or surreptitiously whispering some juicy tale...or laying together on a giant queen-sized bed...or boozing so heftily that entire generations of their families are hungover in the days following. So...it is 
comical to see the reaction I get when I pull out that little aquamarine digital point and shoot...you know, they are making a big deal of hiding their faces and rolling their eyes and complaining that I only post pictures in which I look good....Hello??? I am writing this thing, am I not? I am no fool...but, make no mistake, I have also learned the hard way...I have had to teach myself the proper positioning of a good "self-portrait" (I am now a certified pro in that art form...) and how to navigate the "group pose" to have even a 50% shot and grabbing a good angle on film...and even with all that experience, I still end up looking like a sea hag or a tranny Madonna or a uni-bust or two ton tank at times. But those moments are not quite so often anymore....
So this past Friday at Sam's, I took a little time out from cocktailing and gabbing to advise a group of my girlfriends on the proper technique and execution of my signature "Turn, Twist, Tilt & Prop" pose made "famous" (infamous??) by this blog (apparently). And you know, this all started with some"good natured" ribbing (or shall we say relentless abuse...)...lots of giggling each time I took a photo and my friends making a big deal of trying to achieve that magic combination, but inevitably leaving out the "turn" or the "tilt
"...and almost always the "prop." And every one of those girls, all abuse and ribbing on the outside, was taking mental notes on the process...so now we all have it down...now we will all look extra delish each week right here.You know, I guess I never realized the look made much of an impact...though back a few months when one of my very besties told me that for a few seconds he thought it was, in fact, me who was the
Craigslist Killer's girlfriend because the ubiquitous engagement photo splashed across the tabloids featured said girlfriend all twisted and tilted with a healthy dose of Suz style. I should have known right then that this was no longer my secret positioning strategy, but an identifiable stance. And then fast forward to the selection of mocking photos I found on my memory card after ROBtoberfest featuring Joe and Mike and Tim and Jimmy attempting to mimic. And though I would hardly categorize the "TTT&P" as one might the "Bend & Snap" guy-getting maneuver made popular by Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods, I guess it is equally inane and vain and silly...but damn, b*tches...it works!
But then Rob pointed out that there are an entire year's worth of photos of me in which I look almost identical, which he felt, wasn't exactly normal...oh my g*d...maybe he had a point...Christmas: TTT&P; Holy Thursday: TTT&P; kid's birthdays: TTT&P; vacation in Bermuda: TTT&P; post-tornado drive through Connecticut: TTT&P.....(sounds a little like "D*** in a Box"...). There are little variations in the smile and wardrobe and and hairstyle, you know...but almost no photos exist in which I am not fully aware that the shot may one day, very likely, end up being displayed right here for everyone and their 
brother and sister and best friend from high school to read and forward...which is the part about writing that I love most...the sharing...so don't get me wrong. But the truth is that I have many faces...you know, not like a two-face or anything...more like many different sides. And I guess I show those other "girls" to all of you in this forum figuratively...and I expose my thoughts and beliefs and points of view and emotions with a raw truth and unabashed clarity...I would say that about myself. So maybe the photos don't always communicate what's deep inside.
But damn...I am not sure you'd visit this blog ever again if the photos captured the real flavor of what was running through my brain at any given time...no, no...much too risky... And this is supposed to be fun and light and breezy and easy, right? So...let it be as such...and let me tell you all about Sam's party and how much fun I had "self-portrait-ing" and "TTT&P-ing" and just enjoying the night with my best girls....
brother and sister and best friend from high school to read and forward...which is the part about writing that I love most...the sharing...so don't get me wrong. But the truth is that I have many faces...you know, not like a two-face or anything...more like many different sides. And I guess I show those other "girls" to all of you in this forum figuratively...and I expose my thoughts and beliefs and points of view and emotions with a raw truth and unabashed clarity...I would say that about myself. So maybe the photos don't always communicate what's deep inside.
But damn...I am not sure you'd visit this blog ever again if the photos captured the real flavor of what was running through my brain at any given time...no, no...much too risky... And this is supposed to be fun and light and breezy and easy, right? So...let it be as such...and let me tell you all about Sam's party and how much fun I had "self-portrait-ing" and "TTT&P-ing" and just enjoying the night with my best girls....
...or maybe I will just let the pictures speak for themselves...
Bring on the abuse....xoxo....
Photos:
1. An exhausted "non-brode" surveys the spoils....
2. Me, Suse, Betsy and Ellen...Bets and I showing off our fancy ruffled matching J. Crew tops...oh, and get used to that look on me....holiday party season is upon us!
3. Vicky and Mary....a vision in sparkles...
4. ADP demos how "It" gets started...all over Suse's cheek...while I "self-portrait" the whole thing....
5. Here I catch Mary and Kath in a private moment (well, maybe not so much....) on Sam's cushy, comfy bed...
6. Another "self-portrait"...Amber with an excellent attempt at the "TTT&P"...she's getting there....
7. Kathy, Amber and Sam finding themselves quite hilarious in a "TTT&P" mocking session...no respect for my hard work...
8. Mary, sistergirlfriend, Lisa and me...notice my well-"propped" 'do in this shot, another "self-portrait"...truly professional...
9. Me and Trish enjoy the night...and my spontaneous "TTT&P/self-portraiting" abilities....
10 & 11. Me and my sweet little darlings this past year...me sporting the sweet little old Mommy-version of "TTT&P"....
12. (left to right) Latzy, Amber, Sam, Mary and sistergirlfriend, Lisa, aka The Jazz Hands Posse, trying to create their own signature pose...kinda lame...
13. Amber, me and Sam....a final "self-portrait" with some of my very besties...
7 comments:
Really Good post...
I must admit, the (few) family pics we have when you are caught not doing the TTT&P are as good as the (many) where you are...more genuine...but damn you look good in the TTT&P pics (I'll have to find a pose that works as well for me, although I think that's a lost cause), so I guess you know what you're doing...
Ah What Fun!! So sad I missed it. But glad not to be on the receiving end of a camera that night. Would've needed some *serious* magic to get a good photo -post cubscout meeting and feelin' like crap. But in hindsight, think being around such fun beautiful friends would've spunked me up and might've been just what the doctor ordered! Always love your blogs. xoHelen
Good times, Good times. How I love reliving the fun we had through your blog. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the picture posing education.
The TTT&P does look better at least until all of our chins start to drop.
and I thought your favorite comment from my angel would have been, "You and Daddy did that THREE TIMES????"
LOVE IT! And none of us can do the TTT&P like you can girl. You rock it!
There is far too much that I love here:
1. Baked brie = heaven in a dish of cellulite and deliciousness.
2. Sequined tops = glam, glam, glam! I have a fully encrusted sequined dress for Mr. Stonehill!
3. Turn, tilt, twist, and pop = my SIGNATURE photograph move. We call it the "Krose Pose."
4. Unrelated, but if only my tootsies were a tad smaller and a size six pair of Manolos would be OURS!
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