We Drank a Toast to Innocence, We Drank a Toast to Now...

You know, I don't think I ever officially wished all of you a merry, cheery, joyful, happy and all that. And since I have last written, much has taken place...we had the Secrets & Lies cookie party at which I was kind of chill and mellow acting as hostess and having imbibed a tame three Diet Cokes and only half a flute of rose prosecco...but Latzy spiced up the joint in her fuzzy pussycat sweater that she was gifted only days before by Laura at our Dirty Santa bash with the church ladies. And there was the ugly ornament exchange, for which Nancy created a fine Christmas star out of pilfered wire hangers and 6

year old Christmas ribbon she found in my garage

....the look on Lynn's face when she unwrapped it still cracks me up.... The very next night we had Ann and Chris's annual Open House, again taking place on the evening of a snowstorm...which adds to the fun and festivity in my opinion, but kept me from wearing "the shoes"...instead sporting the 4-inch, gunmetal grey patent leather t-straps with my toothpick jeans as I trudged up their driveway in 4-inches of snowy stuff. And then....it was Christmas week...dinner with Karen and Suse at

Janice, at which we scarfed creamy mushroom soup and NY strip steaks topped with bruleed blue cheese and an unbelievable chevre, asparagus and truffle timbale on the side, and where for the first time this holiday season I heard my very favorite, "Do They Know It's Christmas..." Finally! I was beginning to think it was not Christmastime at all...(though I had heard that 1981 tear-jerking classic about the old lovers in the 7-11 drinking beers in the car by Dan Fogelberg no less that 100 times by December 1st...). And then....the rest of the week was a blur of family and food and fun and gifting and celebration and a brand new smoky violet Blackberry Curve...(yes, I said smoky violet...so deliciously sexy...yay!!..). So now, Christmas has passed....and only then did it occur to me....

Holy hell! 2009 has come to a close...

And you know, though I have no clue where the time went, I think I am ready to part with

her...to say my goodbyes to those moments and personalities that made '09 memorable or controversial or shocking or entertaining. So goodbye to the collective clawing our way out of financial crisis...and goodbye wacky families of '09 -- the Jacksons and the Gosselins and the Palins and the Lohans (Long Island's finest...) and

the Kardashians and those Balloon Boy people...and goodbye summer of death, I couldn't wait for that to come to a close...And, well....all right, ok... '09 wasn't filled entirely with bumps in road...for me in particular, there was self-discovery...and I had good times with great friends (Jughead Sisters...meet you at 12th Street Ale House next October!)...and countless parties and events...and best of all, I spent 12 full days alone with my kids on the Gulf of Mexico, and while I was there I did nothing but

revel in what I love most in life...my babies and the sea air and quiet distance....which

opened my eyes, and was an incredible blessing. If nothing else '09 gave me that. But there were all kinds of pop culture moments and events and happenings this year, for sure, like always....and I guess if I was Entertainment Weekly or Vanity Fair or Barbara Walters (ha!), then I would be truly qualified to wax poetic on the "Best of's..."....but truth is, '09 is behind us...and on top of that, so are the "00's"....

Like I said...Holy Hell!

I remember one night late in 1979...the end of my first decade on earth (wait, I am 29, what am I talking about...????)...and I was telling my Dad, as he tucked me in for the night, that I was feeling a little nervous to move beyond the

comfy 70's decade of my birth...it seemed strange to me, and I was afraid of what was to come...afraid of this unknown decade ahead (maybe I had had some odd premonition that acid wash and mullets and Kajagoogoo and "The Coreys" were awaiting us there....). Mostly I was afraid to be turning 10!!! As crazy as I was to be having such anxiety, Dad took pity and told me that change is always a little frightening...but that moving forward was good...that I had a lot to look to and do and experience and someone that I was going to become. How funny to think of now...but of course as it turned out, my Dad was right on and much of who I am, took form in the seemingly scary '80's...and my lifelong friends whom I always turn to have been with me since those very days...since the high hair and pegged jeans and oversized Benetton sweaters and zinc pink lipstick. And now....here I am back at the turn of a decade, another 10th birthday to celebrate.

You remember, don't you? While the rest of you were partying like it was 1999 and backing up your desktops and LANs and WANs and financial records and unpublished novels and Bloomberg machines ten years ago this week in anticipation of Y2K, I was

waiting. And so, on the very first day of this decade...of this millennium...I met my truest love, gave birth to her, in fact, after two full days of labor and all kinds of stops and starts....but she arrived the evening of January 1, 2000...and she and her strawberry blond, blue eyed, pink-skinned beauty and teeny, tiny serenity became mine. And here we are 10 years later....10 years have passed since Millennium madness...and for 10 years I have been Ellie's mother.

I seriously find it hard to believe that so many years have gone by this quickly. You know, I look back at pictures and I see a baby version of myself holding her...and it seems like yesterday that I was a fresh-faced new mom, with a new home, newly back from spending the "90's" in New York City.... and I had a new outlook...my sole purpose was being her mother. Ellie has been my greatest gift in that she was my first, and she showed me once and for all what it is to love. And she is filled with it...her kindness is one of her most marked characteristics...and she gives of herself without question. I do not know where she learned to be that way, because I am not quite so...and it is she who teaches me about myself every single day...

So in reading the coverage in EW and Vanity Fair and "The Today Show" and Barbara Walters'

insipid "most intriguing" list (don't even get me started....) over the past few weeks: "Best (TV, Movies, Music, Books, Personalities, Moments, Quotes, Recipes, Scandals...you name it...) of the Decade" I find myself at a slight distance, because my memories are crystallized by the fact that

I am one of the very few whose life changed radically and completely on the first day of this decade...what TV show or movie or quote or scandal could top that? But I must say, it is not just me...like a little baby's first year of life, this past 10 years has been an amazing period of growth and change for all of us, yes? I think we all grew up a little, haven't we, my friends? We have lost a bit, I think...our innocence...a few $100 million in Ponzi schemes...and that sense of security we always took for granted...and we lost icons and greats and heroes, seemingly all at once. But we gained this reconnection with old friends and loved ones...and in these 10 years I have made friends whom I love like I have known them many lives over, which I very likely have....and with texting and blogging and Facebook and youtube...as easy as a click of a mouse I can tell you all what I had for breakfast (Froot Loops and Gatorade, just like TL...) or that I love/miss/need/want you near me....which I always do.

So in celebration of this new decade, the beginning of my daughter's next ten...her most formative years ahead...we of course will enjoy our traditional pjs and Mom jewelry for New Year's Eve with the inner circle (Amber's salami roll-ups...Gwen's mac and cheese...yum...)...but as a special treat, I am taking Ellie and some of my friends' girls to the Big City -- Dylan's Candy Bar (I am hitting the KitKat station and planting myself...), the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA (10 years olds are aching for a

little culture on their birthdays...), "mocktails" at Aspen Social Club (no worries, we'll save cheap beers at Nancy Whiskey Pub for 2021...) and a girls' dinner at Ruby Foo's (ok, so my 10th birthday was a sleepover/rollerskating extravaganza at which we stayed up all night and hazed poor Sheila S. relentlessly (see you in hell!)...but times are changing...)... and I happen to believe the girls and I will make our own "Best of" moments today...hopefully for Ellie, these will be the "Best of" a lifetime, because I see as the years pass, that this is all we really can hope to give to our loved ones...happy moments, many laughs, beautiful memories...much love.

So, my friends...that is what I promise all of you in 2010...and beyond. Happy, healthy New Year and lots of love...ten times over...

xoxo...Suz

Photos:

1. Lynn shows off Nancy's last minute artistic interpretation of an "ugly ornament"....crafted in less than 30 seconds and still prettier than the giant acorn...

2. Lynn, Sam, Suse, Latzy and sistergirlfriend Lisa sharing secrets and lies and cookies...all coveting Mary's fuzzy feline/Midwestern holiday look...

3. Some Jugheads at the waaaaay beginning of the 39 mile walk...blisters be damned, Jugheads 2.0 is looking ahead to 2010...

4. My three lolling in the warmth of the beautiful sunset on the Gulf of Mexico...

5. Suz in September 0f '79...visions of bad '80's fashion statements and hollow synth-pop on the airwaves haunting my dreams...

6. Me and Baby Ellie, September 2000...never let go...

7. Ellie as blue-eyes Pre-K princess, May 2004..

8. Joyful spirit Ellie squealing in delight as she exited Runaway Train/Thunder Mountain at Disney World, August 2009...

9. Me and my Big Girl Ellie, July 2009...never, ever let go...