Oh Little Darling of Mine...

Ok, so...I'm back....

Remember that? That was the title of my very first post on this blog, which I began writing a year ago this week....

I know! I can't believe it either. And on top of that, today marks my 50th post....a milestone and an anniversary all at once...lucky number 50. And I don't feel a minute over 18...(really...). So, Happy Anniversary, my loves...lots of kisses...

But, truly, how apt and perfect and dead on, that title a year ago, no? Because it has been a while...and here I am, back with you again...

This time of year has always been my favorite...the late summer days and crystal blue skies and the breeze, a touch cooler each day. I know...there is no question how great the warmth and leisure and festive nature of the summer is...how free we feel and how much we all love that. But I don't feel it is a sad moment at all, this end of summer, this Back to School hubbub...instead it feels like the weeks in front of us are filled with promise. You know, still today I have this (not so) secret jealousy, wishing I was the one going back to class, getting my course schedule, hitting the caf...so of course I can never help but feel the excitement of what is to come...all the great fun and celebration ahead and new school books and new friends and new school shoes and new haircuts and new stories to tell. And then there is all of the apple cider and hayrides and pumpkin carving and turkey eating and pie making and gift-buying and holiday partying...all those moments that we revisit year in and year out...the moments that make our memories. And we welcome them with open arms, because seeing someone or something from whom we have been apart and sharing that first moment...the hugs and laughs...well, it is a Reunion of sorts. And this time of year is filled with Reunions.

These days though, when I see that crystal blue sky of early September, a different memory strikes me. And I know each of you look up at the sky and remember it too...and dwelling is not

my purpose here, but I will say this....

Since That Tuesday eight years ago, these yearly milestones and events have taken on new meaning for me. It's like each year, each season reunites us with its own set of beauty and depth...even the little things make your heart leap: the fiery Fall foliage and cracking that first beer at the Opening Day tailgate...or those hopeful Spring crocuses poking through the frost on the first warm-ish day in April...or the very first winter snow storm, keeping everyone inside by the fire, under warm and cozy blankets, black and white movies on AMC. And I know, for myself, I look to those moments every year...because it signifies that the next Reunion is around the corner.

So many pieces of September, 2001 swirl around us still...but I look now and see how that day, too, was about Reunions...about being lucky enough to see that person whom you love so deeply return to you. We all had our moments that day and we know each others' stories...but I never really talk about what I saw late that afternoon, while we were still waiting for my father and husband to come home...

I was pregnant with Tim and had an appointment with my OB, and his office called to tell me that I should still come, even with this madness...I was just 5 days out from my due date and the

baby, who I didn't know yet would be my first son, was moving around all day...like nothing was different. Life was going on, somehow. So I left Ellie with Mom and my sister, Trish, and went to my appointment...and thankfully all was well and his heart was beating and he was almost ready to meet me...to embrace me for the first time.

On the drive home I was stopped at a train crossing in Ramsey, first in line, waiting for the arm to lift once the train pulled out. And as it rolled in, I noticed a cute little woman, about 50,with a suburban bob and khaki pants, on the sidewalk just in front of my car...and she was looking

towards the train as it settled and people were getting off...and she looked sad and distressed...and of course I knew she was waiting for someone. So I watched her...and I watched as her knit brow and worried eyes broke into a relieved smile...and she began to hop and clap. So I followed her sightline and saw a young guy heading towards her -- tall, about 25, in

shirtsleeves and a tie...that dust still clinging to his hair. Her son. And at the sight of eachother they simultaneously burst into tears and ran to one another...this mother and son...and they embraced in front of my car and she was consoling him and wiping his tears. And this went on for a few minutes, the train long gone, but none of us moving...the two of them still holding on. And their sad joy was palpable...I felt it too. I sat there...the irony not lost on me with this pregnant belly in which I held my own son. And I cried fresh tears because I knew I was so blessed at that moment, witnessing their Mother and Child Reunion on that hellish day. A bright spot...her baby had made it home..so very lucky.

I think of them every year at this time...and though I can still barely speak of it without choking up, the memory is a beautiful one.

So even though this magnificent time of year...the time full of promise...has been altered for us somewhat, we can at least welcome the memories of the lost...and those who returned to us. And we can relive the good times and remember old jokes and hilarious stories and happy moments...and laugh and cry...and even though we cannot embrace those who are gone anymore, it is still a Reunion of sorts.

So very happy to be back here with all of you...

Much love this week...that day...always...

Suz

Photo 1: Cupcakes for our anniversary...late summer tan lines still visible in my new favorite Vineyard Vines top...

Photo 2: My three...Back to School...the most wonderful time of the year...

Photo 3: Ellie, captivated by the windy September sky on the first anniversary, September 11, 2002.

Photo 4: My first son...always a joy to behold...

Photo 5 & 6: Tim and me sailing Hamilton Harbour, Bermuda this July... and then against the late summer sky, early last week on Longboat Key...