So the season is in full swing and though it's mid-December, as I promised wou
ld be the case back on Halloween, I have yet to take seriously the organizing, decorating, shopping, ordering, wrapping...because really, is it all about the gifts? Well, yes, I suppose it is considering I have three kids who each still fully believe that it is indeed Santa Claus who made that Wii and all its acoutrements appear...and that more is on the way in 14 days and counting...And I'll admit it, I kind of enjoy getting a gift or two myself...something sparkly and precious is always nice (what recession?)....or, you know, I'll take some Barry
ld be the case back on Halloween, I have yet to take seriously the organizing, decorating, shopping, ordering, wrapping...because really, is it all about the gifts? Well, yes, I suppose it is considering I have three kids who each still fully believe that it is indeed Santa Claus who made that Wii and all its acoutrements appear...and that more is on the way in 14 days and counting...And I'll admit it, I kind of enjoy getting a gift or two myself...something sparkly and precious is always nice (what recession?)....or, you know, I'll take some Barry 
Manilow tickets or something (I mean, who can resist the powers of Manilow??...). But I digress...forget the gifts...we all know that the gifts are not what the season is truly about. It is sharing great times with the people we love and cherish...and hell, even the ones we just kind of like...That's right friends, again, no surprise here -- for me the season is all about the socializing....
1) I had a quick make out session with celeb chef Rocco DiSpirito in the coatcheck at a book launch party back in 1998.
2) Two bodyguards lived with my family for a month during my senior year in high school.
3) I once had dinner with 80's rocker Billy Squier.
4) One of my favorite movies is "Selena" with Jennifer Lopez.
So, you know I have been recounting my goings-on over the weeks since Thanksgiving (Halloween??) and of course the last few days brought some more holiday fun and festivity....I hit two big parties last week, which were at opposite ends of the spectrum in style (adult teenagers at collegiate pub-centric boozeathon and family-friendly pigs-in-blankets annual country club fest, respectively...my bipolar life...). And there was the town tree-lighting...masses of children, hot chocolate...Santa and Mrs. Claus...Gwen and I freezing our a**es off while the kids rolled down the hill. Then on Sunday, S
am, Amber, Nancy and I took our girls to Lincoln Center to see a performance of The Nutcracker...but first we had to hit Cafe Luxembourg for brunch and extra spicy Bloody Marys...we had such fun obliviously whispering to one another while the little girls harassed the waiters for more hot chocolate.
am, Amber, Nancy and I took our girls to Lincoln Center to see a performance of The Nutcracker...but first we had to hit Cafe Luxembourg for brunch and extra spicy Bloody Marys...we had such fun obliviously whispering to one another while the little girls harassed the waiters for more hot chocolate.But...the best is yet to come...this Friday is Amber's annual all-girls "Cookies & Cocktails" bash. 
This gathering is a tradition (in fact, I checked with Amber back in September to secure the date....) and while the object of the evening is to gather among friends for a little innocent cookie and tacky tree ornament exchange (this is what Suburban MILFs do...), it always ends up being the absolute latest night of the year...3, 4 o'clock in the morning we are still on Amber's sofa, keeping her husband awake with our debaucherous tales and loud guffawing, mainlining dirty martinis and scarfing some cream-cheesy-shrimpy-cocktail saucy mess, cherry pepper-stuffed charcuterie and hot melty sausage-y Frito-laden appetizers. Oh man, you guys have no idea the disgusting-ness we women can get to when we are left all alone...the only thing missing is S
use's fondue pot. And the planning and preparation for this event among we ladies takes on a ridiculosness that is akin to planning a wedding...and has my husband rolling his eyes incessantly as I pepper him week-long with requests and inquisitions -- Should I wear the four-inch patent leathers or my chocolate brown boots?....Little black skirt or $200 jeans?....Should I make the Russian Tea Cakes or the Pecan Tassies this year?...Get yourself and the kids out of my face -- I'll be baking round-the-clock until Friday....Ah yes, good times....And make no mistake, if I were missing a limb (which is practically the case this year as on Tuesday night I clumsily slashed deep gashes into two fingers while making dinner...) I would not miss the party...no one would. Case in point: Last year Amber had bronchitis and a double ear infection and still hosted 30 women into the wee morning hours. Now that is commitment! Or maybe it is 
insanity...apples and oranges, really...And while it is always fun to hang with the girls, what truly makes "Cookies & Cocktails" the most special event of the season are Amber's signature "Secrets & Lies" party games. Yes, yes...a revealing year-end look into the minds and hearts of your friends and neighbors....Making you nervous yet, guys??
This gathering is a tradition (in fact, I checked with Amber back in September to secure the date....) and while the object of the evening is to gather among friends for a little innocent cookie and tacky tree ornament exchange (this is what Suburban MILFs do...), it always ends up being the absolute latest night of the year...3, 4 o'clock in the morning we are still on Amber's sofa, keeping her husband awake with our debaucherous tales and loud guffawing, mainlining dirty martinis and scarfing some cream-cheesy-shrimpy-cocktail saucy mess, cherry pepper-stuffed charcuterie and hot melty sausage-y Frito-laden appetizers. Oh man, you guys have no idea the disgusting-ness we women can get to when we are left all alone...the only thing missing is S
use's fondue pot. And the planning and preparation for this event among we ladies takes on a ridiculosness that is akin to planning a wedding...and has my husband rolling his eyes incessantly as I pepper him week-long with requests and inquisitions -- Should I wear the four-inch patent leathers or my chocolate brown boots?....Little black skirt or $200 jeans?....Should I make the Russian Tea Cakes or the Pecan Tassies this year?...Get yourself and the kids out of my face -- I'll be baking round-the-clock until Friday....Ah yes, good times....And make no mistake, if I were missing a limb (which is practically the case this year as on Tuesday night I clumsily slashed deep gashes into two fingers while making dinner...) I would not miss the party...no one would. Case in point: Last year Amber had bronchitis and a double ear infection and still hosted 30 women into the wee morning hours. Now that is commitment! Or maybe it is 
insanity...apples and oranges, really...And while it is always fun to hang with the girls, what truly makes "Cookies & Cocktails" the most special event of the season are Amber's signature "Secrets & Lies" party games. Yes, yes...a revealing year-end look into the minds and hearts of your friends and neighbors....Making you nervous yet, guys??So, it works like this: Pre-party, Amber collects three truths and one lie from each party guest, then at the party the entries are read one-by-one and we individually vote on what we think is the true statement. The one that tricks the most guests is the winner...Amber gives out little prizes, but the true rewards are the stunning revelations and the competition to pull one over on your friends. Some of the ladies' truths or lies over the years have been things like: "I won a bikini contest on LBI" or "I shook hands with Sir Paul McCartney" or "I would leave my husband for Justin Timberlake" (and his "blank" in a box??...."One: you
cut a hole in the box"...priceless)....But those are the tame ones....what about this: "In college I spent one whole night making out with a girl" or "When I started dating my husband he was married and I was engaged." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That one is the best. So, without fail, this game always ends up being an endless source of hilarity that night and indelible bonds are formed, with residual sly winks and nods towards one another throughout the entire New Year. See the holidays truly do bring us all closer to one another, no?
cut a hole in the box"...priceless)....But those are the tame ones....what about this: "In college I spent one whole night making out with a girl" or "When I started dating my husband he was married and I was engaged." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That one is the best. So, without fail, this game always ends up being an endless source of hilarity that night and indelible bonds are formed, with residual sly winks and nods towards one another throughout the entire New Year. See the holidays truly do bring us all closer to one another, no?So since we are all such close personal friends here, for a few giggles (and to test your knowledge), I thought I would share the tidbits I offered for last year's game of "Secrets & Lies"....Here goes:
1) I had a quick make out session with celeb chef Rocco DiSpirito in the coatcheck at a book launch party back in 1998.2) Two bodyguards lived with my family for a month during my senior year in high school.
3) I once had dinner with 80's rocker Billy Squier.
4) One of my favorite movies is "Selena" with Jennifer Lopez.
Yeah...those revelations seem innocent enough, right? Well...most of them. And I know 
the lot of you will figure it out...even as a casual reader of this blog you could probably identify the true statements...But, I will tell you this -- I stumped them all last year (except Nancy who is a master at vetting out my double speak...and Gwen wasn't there or my cover totally would have been blown...). The vast majority of Amber's guests last year believed that my "lie" was #4.....which I suppose is a compliment to the high standard of my taste in music, movies and all that....but as I said, if you have read my blogs, you know I have a soft spot for crap (remember...the Backstreet Boys are on heavy rotation in the Jag...), so #4 is simply an obvious truth. As for the rest...I am sure you are 
combing your brain for things I have told you over the years, trying to put two and two together....So what is the lie then? Do you think I enjoyed a little surreptitious tonsil-hockey with said studly chef?....Or maybe I have shared a meal with a big time 80's recording artist?....And what about those bodyguards? What's that about???
the lot of you will figure it out...even as a casual reader of this blog you could probably identify the true statements...But, I will tell you this -- I stumped them all last year (except Nancy who is a master at vetting out my double speak...and Gwen wasn't there or my cover totally would have been blown...). The vast majority of Amber's guests last year believed that my "lie" was #4.....which I suppose is a compliment to the high standard of my taste in music, movies and all that....but as I said, if you have read my blogs, you know I have a soft spot for crap (remember...the Backstreet Boys are on heavy rotation in the Jag...), so #4 is simply an obvious truth. As for the rest...I am sure you are 
combing your brain for things I have told you over the years, trying to put two and two together....So what is the lie then? Do you think I enjoyed a little surreptitious tonsil-hockey with said studly chef?....Or maybe I have shared a meal with a big time 80's recording artist?....And what about those bodyguards? What's that about???Oh man, you know it is already absolutely killing me not to just come clean and tell you the truth...and that is just like me, the unabashed open book...profusely revelatory to a fault. Well, this time I am keeping some of the mystery alive.... "Selena" is the only hint I am giving you this year...I will just have to keep you guessing....which is the way it should be, right?
Love to you all.... Suz
Photo 1: The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree...pretty sure I drove by it this year on the way to something else...it's certainly pretty though...
Photo 2: The Man...The Myth...The Legend...Manilow!!!
Photo 3: Little Wyckoff angels hit the Big City...
Photo 4: Those three drinks are mine...one of you can have the cookies...
Photo 5: Some of the girls boozing it up over Lynn's famous cream-cheesy shrimp slop...save some for me, Sam...
Photo 6: Nancy, Amber and Chris...they finished that entire bottle inside of an hour...
Photo 7: "Over at your parents' house, a "blank" in a box...Midday at the grocery store, a "blank" in a box....Backstage at the CMAs a "blank" in a box..."
Photo 8: Rocco...do I see some lip gloss smudged across your pouty delicious mouth??
Photo 9: My senior year housemates???
Photo 10: Sainted Tejano goddess: Selena Quintanilla Perez...
3 comments:
I want to say the lie is the Kisssing Bandit move but I am in a toss up - I will stick with Kissing lie...date seems close to the time you might have been getting married!!
Do tell!
Dying with anticipation to hear the stories from this years cookies and cocktails!
Oh by the way, when the book is made into a movie can you put in a good word with the producer and land a part for me? What fun it would be to play a north Jersey MILF!
And to think, while all of these fun reindeer games were going on, I was sitting on the curb of Main street USA at the Magic Kingdom waiting for frikkin spectro-magic Mickey to appear with the under 9 year old circuit.
I would have had much more fun in 07481 drinking & chatting it up with the crew. (Although you would not catch me eating the Fritos)
The magic of Disneyworld is still oozing out of my pores, my calves still tense from walking 8+ miles a day and shooting nasty glares at the phatsos who had to use a RASCAL to navigate the park. I'm holding out for Pane Vino and may bust out the hooker platform boots since i missed the big event!
Post a Comment