Words Are Very Necessary...

The best part about my weekend away on Longboat Key with (left to right, not including me, the shrimpy, midgety one with the crimson, sunburned nose...) Nancy, Suse and Mary, was not the flawless weather (well ok, flawless is strong...so maybe it was a tad windy that first morning on the beach...but the rest: flawless...)...and it was not the lunches on the verandah, Gulf of Mexico right in front of us, our luscious midday chicken and avocado salad chased by a refreshing Corona Light (with lime, TL)...and it was not obtaining the tan lines that we are all sporting on our clavicles, the first brush of direct sun and heat since the summertime...and it was not the festive nature of our dinners out -- mojitos and 1905 salads at Columbia...the Hess Select cabernet and montrous desserts at Euphemia Haye...and just about every component of our beautiful, succulent, savory dinner at The Beach Bistro (even the Bacon Ice Cream was a pleasant surprise...)...and it was not those two kittenish yet demure spring/summer dresses I bought at Island Pursuit, or Mary's new Tory Burch sandals, a full 50% off and on her feet as she exited the store, or the copious amounts of olive oils and balsamic vinegars we had shipped after a long delicious tasting...and it wasn't watching the orange-y/purple-y sunsets over the Gulf...or even when the sweet but daft grocery bagger asked us repeatedly if we were on college Spring Break (a pre-cursor to my return flight seatmate who guessed my age as 26 after I grabbed her hand and squeezed hard through the non-stop, petrifying turbulence...!!!)...Those were all wonderful moments for sure...memorable moments...but...

What I really loved about being away with these girls was that we never ran out of things to say to one another...on the beach, late night, at breakfast, at dinner, over wine...listening to one another...learning all about one another... You know, even though we are good friends, we still had much to say...telling the others how we met our husbands and our lifelong best friends or who we were in high school and college or our favorite food/song/drink/color/band/actor/writer...what we might have named our children had they been the opposite sex...what our prom dress looked like...how high our bangs were in the '80's (mine: not very...though I did love Zinc Pink lipstick and pegged jeans...)...what our hopes were for our children's future...where we saw ourselves a few years beyond this moment... Girl talk, I guess...fueled by sun and salt air and champagne....though I would bet that some of you guys would have been right there with us in our pjs as the clock ticked well past midnight, chattering away with abandon....you can admit it, we will still respect and adore your masculinity. So I suppose this should not be some revelation as I wax poetic upon spending time with and enjoying my friends at every turn...but the weekend sailed by...in a good way. I didn't even crack that copy of "The Six Wives of Henry, VIII"...

But even with all of that...the much needed and enjoyed respite by the sea...even so, I am happy to be home...being with my kids and seeing family and my other dear girlfriends...getting back to the celebrations at home....Easter Sunday of course, the clothes and the candy and the egg hunts and Country Club dinners. But you know me...I am looking to (this week!) Holy Thursday first...the annual celebration of dive barring and festivity in the name of Jesus and Biblical betrayal at Nancy Whiskey Pub...yay! With appearances by Sam and Cath, Stacey and KRose, RJP and his Mad Men posse...and the rest (aka the Professor and Mary Anne...)....much fun and frolic in store.

And lots more that's left to say, I bet...Can't wait!

xoxo, Suz

We're Havin' A Party...Everybody's Swingin' (...well, not like that...)

I bought 6 party dresses to choose between...I

wore none of them...instead I wore a strapless stretch cotton dress from J.Crew that has been in my closet since Spring 2000...10 years and 2 pregnancies ago. What a jacka**...I know, I know. I mean, there were issues with each of the newly purchased dresses (which were all chosen with one thought in mind -- they would showcase my shoes...the shoes...my 4-inch high, platform-toed, fuchsia-bowed, black suede, Kate Spade slingbacks...)....anyway, as I said there were issues or concerns with each of the dresses -- a little short...a little low cut...a little too "mother of the bride meets sophomore semi-formal,"... waist too loose...won't zip over bust...you name it. Anyway, I made a final choice from the purchased dress selections...a black accordion-pleated, cinched-waist, straight neckline, adjustable satin "bra" straps....and it was accentuating the exposed décolletage, I will admit...and I was a little nervous with the low-lying neckline, you know, my dad and my uncles and my nephew and my friend's husbands really didn't need to see that...but I figured: Why not? Why not try a new look?

Well...because, you may end up looking like a tragic cougar...that's why.

Ok, ok...maybe that's harsh but, whatever....it was the dress and it's padded upper half (which, sorry, I don't want or need help with...)...coupled with my hair, which had been painstakingly glazed and flattened and coiffed and shined up by Dogan...and, finally, the Channel 41 Mexican telenovela make-up job that had been professionally applied in my kitchen only minutes before I dressed... The final result: I looked like Sharon Stone as a Glamour "Don't"...And I was leaving for the party in 15 minutes...SH*T!!!!!!!!

So I scrambled to the bathroom and frantically wiped off a good portion of the powdery under-the-eye eyeliner and the blush...I applied some concealer

and some well-placed mascara...and soon, I looked like me...made-up me, glamorous me...but me... Then I tore that accordion-pleat dress off my body and began rifling through the rest of the purchased selections: No, not the one that won't zip over my bust...that won't work...and neither will the mother of the bride meets the sophomore semi-formal...mother of f**k! I am screwed!!! And then, I remember...the ten year old strapless black J.Crew number with the ruffled bodice and tasteful just-above-the-knee length...I rip through the closet and find it waiting for me, under its innocent little dry-cleaning sleeve...I put it on...Ellie zipped me up...the shoes on my feet...gorgeous, diamond drop earrings in my ears (an unbelievable surprise gift earlier in the week from my dear girlfriends...)...and the transformation was complete -- Sharon Stone -- out...Party Suz -- in...

Phew...that was a close one! A lesson learned, even at this age -- stick with the look you have cultivated...there is a reason it works...

So...I was off...headed to City Hall in Tribeca where the celebration of my birth would commence...

And what can I say, really...so many friends that I truly love were invited to be there, and most of you were...or with me in spirit... My beloved Mom and Dad, our hosts who charmed the room...and the extended family (Uncle Freddy postponing a trip to China so he could be there...now that is the kind of devotion I can get behind...)... and my inner circle and my besties and my roommates from college down from Boston and friends from town and work friends and new friends and old... And there were some my favorite gays in the house along with my young 20-something posse (Yo, Britt!), who were gracious enough to say that my friends and I made "The New 21" look really good...because, well...we do! And as always I had my oldest and dearest girlfriends there, with whom, honestly I could have the time of my life just splitting a couple of Coronas and a bag of Bachman Pretzel Rods (they are the best, don't even try to make a case for Mr. Salty...).

But instead it was a Big City party...passed hors d'oeuvres and Kir Royale and red velvet cupcakes...ADP's trusty iPod providing the playlist (Erasure!!..."I'm so in love with you/I'll be forever blue"...). And it was a whirlwind, with moments of clarity...like the flash of Mary's camera, documenting each of these moments for me with her amazing talent...and when RJP approached me and said: "Hey, nice work serving gourmet sliders on a Friday in Lent..." Oops!!! Well, I promptly checked out the slider bar, next to the seafood tower, and there was a line of badass Catholics defying their faith, sucking down the beefy goodness...so there you go...see you all in hell (can't wait!)... And, you know, there were all these sort of blind connections, false familiarity...like when my godmother, Aunt Annette, was recognizing all of you from this blog, right here...she says to me: "There's Helen!...and Suse!...Oh and Kathy too!..."...And ADP made her way over to my high school Heathers, whom she recognized from our pithy commenting while Facebooking, and she goes: "You're Sally Hur!"...and Sally was freaked out, like a deer in headlights...like, "should I know this person???"... And then Gwen told me that someone stopped her in the bathroom and said: "You're one of the besties!"....it went on like that all night....

And even though I knew who was coming I was beyond excited to see each new guest walk in...when my roommates from college arrived, I just squealed and carried on, many hugs...and the high school friends, who had taken me out earlier in the week, still I engulfed each of them as they entered the room...And then there was all the random catching up... telling my uncle how TL had dinner with someone who knew him, and she told TL: "That Freddy Ritt was crazy!!"...Freddy loved that... And my cousins, who always busted my chops for being the dreamy princess, were telling stories about my childhood clairvoyance and my age three predictions and assertions of who I knew in a former life...etc., etc... I am pretty sure I predicted a few of you back then. So I sat down here and there and slipped in and out of each little group and caught a little bit of each conversation.... You know...there were so many people I wanted to spend every minute with...but instead I bopped around and I had moments with each of my friends and family...I didn't eat a thing and I barely finished a drink, though I seemed to be clutching a champagne flute at every turn...

And then....my Dad took the stage and made a toast...

In all honesty, I cannot fully recall everything that was said because I was overwhelmed but beaming on that stage, in front of a room full of people I genuinely love all laughing and smiling back at me. So, you know...Dad proceeded to roast me a little...mock me a little (stories of my legendary poor focus on school work...the year I laughed off a bad grade, saying to my teacher: "Really, Miss Wess, let's face it...this isn't going to keep me out of college..." and Dad's punchline: "It almost did." I took the abuse like a champ, because of course he also took the moment to adore me a little...and to tell the crowd, my friends, how he sees me, how I fit in their universe, who I am in their eyes and what I have meant to them... And he brought down the house, women and men falling for him...as always...

And it was like every emory I have ever had was coming to life in that room...at every turn, someone whom I knew and loved and whose influence had impacted my life in some way. And I feel like I have been talking about this every single time I write...but it is always true...I always stand outside myself and cannot believe how blessed I have been...how many great times I have had...and the amazing people I share them with...

And truthfully, I know we are meant to be here with one another because even if I had shown up in the tragic, desperate Sharon Stone/Channel 41/Cougar look, you would have embraced me and I, you...because we are connected at the heart...and I predicted long ago that I would find you and that we would be forever friends...

xoxo

Ok...so, milestone passed...time to look ahead and move on to the next celebration...which is....

Holy Thursday dive barring at Nancy Whiskey!!

My favorite of all holidays...I mean, I have said it before and I will say it again -- when else is it appropriate to honor Jesus' death while also celebrating Sam's birthday/quasi-bachelorette party and the post work, Lenten wind-down with Cath, RJP and the Mad Men posse... So...mark your calendar, hire your sitters and take off work...Holy Thursday, April 1st...see you there (yes, I mean you Stacey...and you too, Gwen...)... Maybe for giggle I will throw on my cougar dress...if you are lucky...

Love, Suz

Photos:

1. Inviting you to witness "The New 21"...gotta keep telling myself that...

2. Sharon Stone rocking the cougar's obligatory purple mink wrap...so tasteful and age appropriate...

3. Me, in my party-wear post strip-down/scrub-fest... Ahhh...much better...

4. (left to right) Freddy Ritt, Mr. Alter, Me and Dad...my best guys (next to Will and Tim...)...

5. (left to right) Some of the Wyckoff posse: Pina, Gwen and Paul...

6. (left to right) Christina and Sally, of the High School years...

7. Dearest friend and house photog, Mary, with Me in a stunning self-portrait...my surprise diamond earrings making an appearance...

8. (left to right) More of the Wyckoff townies: Joanne, Helen, Barry, Nancy, Amber, Scott and Mike...and this was only one drink in...

9. (left to right) A collection of favorite girlfriends: TJ, Suse, Me, ADP and Helen...

10. (left to right) My girls Kathy W. and Sam...Kathy R. in background holding court...

11. (left to right) The Stonehill class of '92 contingent: Jeanne, Laurene and Susan...Jeanne and Susan my besties and roommates at the Sem and then again in Orleans A...

12. (left to right) Nancy Whiskey regulars, Big sis Cath and RJP with great friends, Eric (my mom's crush...), Me and Heidi...

13. (left to right) A few drinks in...Lisa D., SisterG and her eyelashes along with Ann...

14. Dad roasts and toasts me...I think my cheeks still hurt from smiling that hard...

15. (left to right) Oldest friends, best friends...as Stacey might say: the Wh*res on the Hill (aka the Holy Angels gang...): Stacey, Danielle, Casey, Me, BFFL Allison and Bridget...

16. (left to right) Mrs. Alter, Pat Ritt (aka Mom), ADP and Me...see, I told you I had a Mom...here she is celebrating the birth of her favorite child...

But In The End, It's Right...

Today is my birthday....my long-awaited birthday...

But, make no mistake...as I am sure you have guessed, I have been celebrating for a week already.... I mean, maybe I should say a month since there was the big birthday trip Ellie and I took to LA a few weeks back...her choice, this Left Coast city...and though London would have been my inclination, soon I warmed to the Cali concept...well, once we were invited to stay with friends in Bel Air for part of our visit...on the edge of Brentwood, that scandalous mid-90's murderous fall from grace still apparent at every turn: Bundy, Rockingham, Mezzaluna (now a Peet's Coffee, by the way...). But even so, we loved it there...we loved it, so surprising to me and my East Coast-centric suspicion of the sunny, happy Angelenos...no, no...believe it or not, I could see myself there...(shhhhhh...my Dad will never, ever speak to me again if he hears me say that...). Anyway, it was a great trip and a bonding experience for Ellie and me. Ok, so the only celeb we saw was Sara Gilbert, aka Darlene from Roseanne, stuffing her face with a bagel...and maybe I drove all the way down Sunset Boulevard from Bel Air to Silverlake pointing out every landmark along the way, not realizing she was in a dead sleep in the backseat until halfway through...and maybe when we hooked up with my high school pal, Nick, to meet his funky, cool, artsy LA posse at this hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant in the San Gabriel Valley, we drove around in a circle for 40 minutes trying to find the joint, exhausting Ellie to the point that she simply placed her head on the table and didn't speak until dinner was over (uh...buzzkill!)...and ok, so maybe when Ellie and I came out of the garage on Rodeo Drive she said (I sh*t you not): "Oh my gosh, Mom...it looks exactly like Ridgewood!"....So, dearest, you are telling me I flew 3,000 miles so we could shop in a touristy downtown that looks "exactly" like our very own suburban downtown...hilarious! But...we also rode the ferris wheel at Santa Monica Pier, on the edge of the Pacific...and twice we rode The Simpsons ride at Universal Studios, screeching and hysterically laughing the entire time...and we bought outfits on Beverly Drive...and we spontaneously blew off one fancy dinner reservation so that we could eat s'mores at a completely different place instead... And even with all that craziness, we had a blast...great moments...a most memorable way to celebrate our "zero" years together...

Then we came home and there was the Winter Doldrums dinner party last weekend, hosted by Teri and Charlie...a breakaway from the endless snow (finally) in the wine cellar at Brick House...friends, neighbors, drinks, food and fun...as always. And that led into this week, during which I indulged in some dress buying and salon treatments, readying for the celebrations and dinners and parties ahead...which began with an espresso chip ice cream cone on Tuesday afternoon that cheered me after a few days of feeling like I was living inside a Jewel song ("Same old story/Not much to say/Hearts are broken everyday...")...and champagne at Panevino with ADP (a year older this March 9th) and Sam -- the always friendly and gracious bartender not allowing us to order more than one drink as she felt like closing early....uh, ok....and there was the chocolate peanut butter cupcake from Just Desserts that I indulged in while ordering my birthday cake...and then, a little sashimi lunch at Sakura with a small group of my favorite friends, BFF Allison there from across the county and my 5 year old bestie and president of my pre-school fan club (she has a teddy bear named after me, enough said...), Miss Mere came along too...the best part though was when the little Japanese waiter brought out my surprise red velvet cake (Just Desserts again...) covered with candles, my friends and the entire waitstaff singing "Happy Birthday" in broken English, while the table next to us, also a group of women celebrating a birthday, jealously and sheepishly looked on as they split a brownie six ways...hahahahaha!!! I averted my eyes from the sad Piscean sister they were celebrating and secretly cackled to myself: My friends are better than your friends!!.... And then, I closed the week that night sitting at my kitchen table with TJ, sharing a bottle of pinot noir, a cheese plate and girl talk while our kids literally screamed and laughed for 4 hours straight...ending the week on a high...my last week in my thir...wait, no...my last week in my teens....

So I woke up early this past Saturday morning, a fresh, new day in the lead-in to my "The New 21" birthday week, and after catching my Tivo'd food porn fix of The Best Thing I Ever Ate (mmm...Berger's cookies from Baltimore...those fudgey bastardizations of the famed Black & White cookie of NYC...love!) and "Triple D" (eating johnnycakes with Guy in Providence, RI...that's not too far to drive...). Anyway, so after that I flipped around a little and was as pleased as punch to stumble upon Sliding Doors, that fine little cinematic masterpiece and parallel universe gem...the mid-nineties indie launchpad for the young Gwyneth...you know, before all her preachy macrobiotic crap and the yoga and buddying up with Madonna and the birth of Apple and the sanctimonious pseudo-wannabe-Brit condescension.....

Yes!!!! So psyched! I love Sliding Doors! I know, it wasn't like some masterpiece or groundbreaking work of art...it's sort of the thinking girl's version of a chick flick, I guess...but it is totally of its time and I relished the idea of becoming immersed and transported back to the mid-90's...you know, a time before I was turning The New 21, when Gwynnie ruled and I was young and new and working the Big City scene in my Gucci loafers. But aside from that, I totally love the film's concept...the whole notion that the smallest, most insignificant hits and misses in our daily existence can alter the path of our lives dramatically.

So you all know the story...Gwynnie is brown-haired, deceived and put-upon by the unfaithful live-in boyfriend in one universe and blond, heartbroken, jaded and healing with the help of the cute, fun Scottish guy in the other...and we see what would have happened to her had she made it through the subway's sliding door on that fateful day. We all know where the movie goes...the lessons she learns...how she is hurt and heartbroken but is saved. And we know how it ends up...that she eventually finds herself exactly where she should, knowing what she needs to know, finding what she is supposed to find, even though it comes with loss...and ultimately being with whom she belongs. So aside from using the movie's appearance on my TV as an excuse to loaf some more on this Saturday morning, I was thinking how perfectly timed it was for me at this moment...because as my birthday approaches, and particularly over this past year, I have been looking back at the choices I made that delivered me to this point in my life...and as always, wondering how it would have all come together had I taken a different path...or missed the subway on a fateful day...

But...

I might never have driven down Sunset Boulevard, my 10 year old girl sleepy in the backseat...or hung over the Pacific on a ferris wheel...or seen a former sitcom star scarfing breakfast on the go...or laughed and danced the Winter Doldrums away...or eaten that espresso chip ice cream cone or chocolate peanut butter cupcake... And you know, the birthday lunches and red velvet cake and girl talk and the kids screaming and playing for four hours straight...those are just the things this week that remind me to look back and own every moment and every choice...and embrace who I have become, without an ounce of regret....because to me, having regrets would be far too wasteful at this point... So...flawed or charmed as it may be, it is my very own perfect life...

And so...I will celebrate still. My parents are having a party for me this week...the youngest daughter...and I will see some of you there...and some of you will be with me in spirit (will drink one or two for you!)...and all of you will be in my heart...as always...

One year older, wiser...but still the same girl...

xoxo...Suz

PS A very Happy Birthday to Nancy, who (thankfully) is a year ahead of me, but who shares this great day...Love You, Nance!!

Photos:

1. My seventh (or "The New Three"...) birthday party at our old kitchen table on Mohawk Road in Franklin Lakes...always a pro at scarfing cupcakes apparently...

2. Celebrating warmth and freedom and being 10...Ellie on Santa Monica Beach, only a few weeks back...

3. Me and Ellie warm by the pool at Hotel Oceana, Santa Monica... Good thing I missed the boys so desperately or we may have taken up residence...

4. Ellie couldn't be happier...s'mores at Luna Park on the edge of Beverly Hills...

5. (left to right): Suse, Freddy, Tim, Pina and Colleen...some Winter Doldrums revelers...happy and festive even though there had just been a two day blizzard and over two feet of snow on the ground...

6. Miss Mere of the SisterG's...my little soulmate and future NYC roomie (just call me Aunt Sassy...)...

7. Weighed down with treats from my friends -- bouquets and gifts and a mis-marked balloon...maybe that birthday girl at the other table was turning 40...

8. Red velvet deliciousness...the first of many sweet, delicious birthday celebrations this year...

9. Berger Cookies...pure heaven...who's coming to Baltimore with me...?

10. Gwyneth, goddess of the mid-90's, in Sliding Doors...

11. This past Saturday evening, my kids and I celebrating with steaks and creamed spinach and red wine and chocolate macademia cake...and the potholder big sis, Cath, made for me...(yes, filled with irony...)

12. (left to right) Nancy, Suse, Susan, me, Amber, Gwen and Chris...Some of the inner circle, back in January...the first celebration of many that have and will follow...