Sippin' On a Forty...

So...at 10:30 p.m. this past Friday night I threw on a mini-skirted, bust-enhancing St. Pauli Girl outfit and walked through a party, which was stocked wall-to-wall with our very best friends and neighbors, all while toasting the occasion with a big beer stein filled with Buffalo Bill's Pumpkin Ale. And no, I wasn't three-sheets to the wind...and no, it was not a Halloween party...and no, none of the other party-goers were wearing a costume...just me. Oh, and did I mention that not only did I have my Heidi Klum meets Liesl Von Trapp crossed with Swiss Miss on crack moment and make a jack-hole of myself (my very favorite pastime next to being naughty, of course...and I guess in this case, I covered both of those, no?...) but I was also the party hostess....yeah, you heard me. Hmmmm...I can sense the wheels turning through the screen...you are thinking: "What the hell kind of shenanigans are they getting themselves into over yonder in little old Wyckoff, NJ...and how can I get my a** invited?!" I'm right, aren't I?

But you see, my friends...St. Pauli Girl just had to make an appearance...because we were all together celebrating Rob's surprise 40th birthday bash...better known as ROBtoberfest!!

Let's rewind, shall we?

A few months back I sat in Suse's kitchen late one July afternoon, our kids running around the yard whilst we noshed on some organic vanilla infused peach jam and Philadelphia cream cheese crackers...and we pondered ideas and thoughts and plans for marking the big 40th birthday milestones both Scott and Rob were hitting in '09....to party or not to party? And then what to do as far as food, theme, guest list, how many people, budget, where do you stop...? Do guys even get into that kind of thing? Can we just send them away on some kind of male-bonding weekend where they could fish or golf or sail or drink all day long...or all of the above? Of course...my own thoughts and desires and needs and personality absolutely come into play when planning a party or celebration for another person....so making the right calls can be challenging....especially for someone like me, who second only to attending parties, loves and adores planning parties...and jumping on any excuse at all to spend lots of money on food and booze and invitations and decorations and cakes and party favors. So, I thought, does it matter what Rob would want? I know better anyway...I mean, that's usually my motto...so I was off and running....

But before I could get focused on the event, there was Back to School and Indian Summer and the Flying Mueller Brothers and raising money for the Avon Walk and Timmy's birthday...and soon it was September 20th...a month out. I started frantically emailing sistergirlfriend, Lisa and the other Beard Sister, my bestie, Suse, with crazy last minute thoughts and plans and ideas. I considered a grown up tailgate party with kegs of Bud and nachos and wings and a big giant sub on the driveway (so white trashy...perfect!)....and I looked into the Big City bar party at thousands of dollars for two hours of cocktails....or maybe we would do a chic dinner in a private room in some great restaurant with a hot young up and coming chef...or should I forget this surprise sh*t and just tell him all about it and have a dinner party here at home...or should I still try to trick him and host it at Indian Trail Club or my Mom and Dad's house...and still, what could I do to make it different and special and fitting?? And then, out of nowhere it came to me...

Oktoberfest!!!!

I could see it all in my mind...pretzels and beer and the fiery Fall foliage...love it! And so it was....though I renamed the centuries old tradition to make it all about Rob. I got Allison and Kevin onboard to host this crazy fete at their beautiful home over in Norwood, across Bergen County from Wyckoff, but a perfect surprise location. And they were all over it, like the true, supportive long-term BFFs they are...and I whipped together a guest list, old and new friends and family...and I called Wendy and Roger and he agreed to cater...and I ordered the invitations and out they went...I told Rob that Allison invited us to a dinner party the night of his birthday, which he totally bought....and so, the plan was set. Later Suse suggested I call our friend in town, Carrie T., whose business it is to deal in gift merchandise and logoed promotional items...and she ordered big glass beer steins that said "ROBtoberfest - Celebrating 40 years - October 23, 2009" across the front in forest green. And then I decided to charter a bus to drive our friends across the county to the party...and I ordered up a keg of Spaten Oktoberfest and cases upon cases of micro-brews and ales and assorted wines...And this was all done from the laptop in our living room...the same one Rob works from everyday. Keeping the surprise was most certainly a challenge, my friends...

So last Friday I left the house at 9 a.m., concocting some reason that I needed to use the Volvo instead of my little blue Jag...and I dodged Rob the entire day...I went to the salon and then I went to school to serve the kids Special Lunch and hit the Book Fair with Will's class...all killing time until 2 p.m. and my planned pick up of RJP, who had been roped into hauling the keg and the cases upon cases of micro-brews and ales and assorted wines over to Allison and Kevin's house. And as I am on my way over to get him, Gwen calls and asks if, as a goof, it is ok if she wears to the party a St. Pauli Girl outfit (which TJ later clarified is called a Bavarian dirndl...not lederhosen, which are those shorts/suspender things that Friedrich von Trapp was so find of...who knew...well, apparently everyone but me...)....and I am cracking up...love the idea...give Rob a little thrill on his big night, why not?

So RJP and I scurried about making sure the set up is complete, RJP carrying that keg all by himself from the car to the tented deck area...thank god he was there, because that party would have had to take place on the Volvo's hatch had he not been...so it would have been a grown up tailgate after all... And after Allison and I reviewed the party layout, the little areas around her house that she had created gathering places for guests (to which I said: "you know the Wyckoff posse is just going to head right for the keg, right?...")...and I inspected the personalized beer steins and tubs of pretzels and the stuffed cupcakes and chocolate dipped pretzels...And after I confirmed directions and bus guest list with Suse, who was graciously stepping in as party bus liaison/de facto Julie McCoy...And after Rob texted me curiously inquiring as to my whereabouts and I texted back "I just left Stacey's hostess party..." which is a BS lie I pulled out of the sky at that very moment....and he texts: "did I know you were going there?" and I wrote back: "I forgot too!"....and he dropped it. After all that...we headed back home...it was 4:30...3 hours out.

So flash forward to 7 p.m., Rob is ready to go, the kids are off with my Dad and I am still sitting on the bed, freshly showered but lounging in front of TiVo and the "Restaurant Wars" episode of Top Chef, reading texts from Suse updating me on the bus location...they were on their way...So then, and only then, do I start tearing my closet apart for some kind of appropriate party outfit...and I frantically yell down to Rob to grab a bottle of wine to bring to the dinner party because "I was supposed to make an appetizer and I forgot..." Right there should have clued him into the ruse, because I would never ever show up empty handed to a party...and I would never ever forget to cook something for someone else...please. But he was distracted and went along with it all....At 7:35 I descend the stairs in a black cashmere short sleeved turtleneck, black wool mini skirt and black riding boots, my fuchsia pashmina knotted around my shoulders....After a little lip gloss application, we hop in the little blue Jag and take off.

So in the meantime, the little shuttle bus has dropped off our friends...the others arrive by car from all points of the tri-state (Rob's college roommate, Tom, and his wife, Jesse, whom I adore, get the award for furthest flung, having arrived from Kinderhook, NY -- way up in Columbia County...)...and Allison is handing out ROBtoberfest beer steins and taking coats and staging guests for the Big Surprise. And I am calling her, leaving a false voicemail giving some stupid fake excuse about not bringing an appetizer...and then I am texting Suse -- We are 10 minutes away...We are around the corner... And Rob is like: "Will you just drive? Who the hell are you texting?" Yike! And as we pull up he totally sees the tented deck...but he says nothing...but I do see him taking note of the cars parked on the street...whatever, at this point, I feel I have executed my surprise party duties formidably. And we ring the doorbell and they are all standing there with their beer steins cheering and clapping...and he is now the center of attention...and I slipped off to the side, out of the crowd and the waitress brought me a beer stein filled with Spaten Oktoberfest...the night had begun.

And of course it was a great night...the food was amazing and delicious (thank you, Roger....)...and the beer and the pretzels with mustard were a hit...and forget about the chocolate dipped pretzels and the mini-cupcakes, we were all over them...and the music, provided by ADP and her traveling iPod was, as always, a fine backdrop. It was like sensory overload, of course...with the conglomeration of these great hometown friends juxtaposed with faces from our history before we were married and had children...before we came even close to hitting 40 (I am still 3 years out, so, you know...we have time to plan that event...what? It's true...). We had Rob's sister and brother and his brother-in-law...and his best friend, Dave, Ellie's godfather...and Dave's sister and Rob's former love interest, Claudine, who was dressed in the world's most delicious F-me shoes...And my dear almost little sister, Alessa was there with Billy, and we got to enjoy some grown up time together. And you know, Casey and Marty made the scene...and they always kick the party up a few notches...they are both hilarious (Marty of course embarrassing Allison in front of the group with his favorite story about this dinner party he and Casey had one night where Allison ate a wheel of brie and I got so drunk I poured a bottle of red wine all over the tablecloth...this was after Marty said the most hilarious version of grace in history). Anyway...Marty ended up hanging with Jeff, husband of sistergirlfriend, Lisa...talking music most certainly...and oddly enough, I was told later that when Marty walked in, he yelled across the room to Pina's husband, Paul, with whom he dined on business only 10 days before..neither having any idea of the Anderson connection...we are like the plague...spread deep and wide. And wouldn't you know it...HG was there with Pugs of course, and she also knew Pina's Paul...

I barely saw Rob all night...he and the guys, of course, were out by the keg...and we ladies were congregating in the kitchen around the food, chit chatting and telling stories and just having the best time. I stood with Sam and Lisa H. and Gwen (who was wearing chic jeans and 5-inch heels...St. Pauli Girl outfit stored in a bag for later...) and we ate up a tray of those chocolate pretzels with our pumpkin ale...and we crowed and laughed at the latest gossipy happenings around town. Sam marveled at the always fabulous Tom and David and their effortless chicness...you know, we need them to raise the elegance factor at these things...and do they ever. So then Joe and Mike M. confiscated my camera for a while, bringing it back filled with photos of them and all the other guys mocking my signature blog photo pose -- turned to the side, chin down, neck twisted, hair propped...you all know it. And later Wendy told me that she was having so much fun...even though we missed Kathy and Mark...and Amber and Steve...and the Bonzy's were out enjoying a little Jersey Boys, so they were missed as well. But I said to Wendy: "We always have a great time together, no matter what we do...we have such a fun group of friends..." This is the same speech we say to one another after every social gathering...who knew after high school and college and working, that you would still have room to open yourself up to so many new friends...our neighbors...the parents of our kids' friends. And that we all enjoy one another and we celebrate that as much as we can is a bonus. We are so lucky.

So then...I think I was just strolling towards the ladies room when Suse poked her head around the corner, her little twisted and evil grin apparent...and I saw that she was standing with Gwen, who was holding her St. Pauli Girl outfit (ok, the dirndl...) and they say: "You should really be the one to wear this thing...." And usually I would put up a fight...I am extra Catholically uncomfortable with sporting any form of slut-wear...even as a lark...but somehow this seemed comical to me, something I needed photos of -- me in a sexy little form-fitting dirndl. So somehow, these two best friends of mine (or maybe not...???) convinced me to squeeze my a** into this thing and then walk around the back of the house and up through the tented deck, where 90% of the men at the party had congregated...and twist my arm...anything for a laugh.

So there I go, with this skirt so small, I literally felt the cold air swirling around my bum, wondering if said bum is peeking out from under the hem....and I am breaking through the tent opening, mugs of beer in hand...and the place went wild!!! And I am laughing and thinking this is hilarious and all... and about a minute in, the flashbulbs popping in my face, the guys whooping and cheering...I look over at Rob and he is just giving me that bemused smile...like, What the hell? Who are you and what have you done with Suz?? And I started to get my wits about myself...WTF? How could I let Gwen and Suse talk me into this? So I make my escape, skipping on through the sliding door, only to catch the eye of the rest of the party-goers, male and female, inside the house....And it is another wild reaction...and I am laughing at my own idiocy...and I am taking pictures and fielding requests for the wives to borrow the outfit one night...and I laughed with ADP and CDP suggesting they could take on a little Captain von Trapp/Fraulein Maria role-play...you know, the whistle, the pinecone...throw in Christopher Plummer circa '64 and I am along for the ride myself...why not? Ok...so maybe it was silly and ridiculous...but I received a few compliments, so maybe this Germanic fraulein trollop does live deep inside my psyche somewhere. Still...I ran upstairs and tore that thing off shortly thereafter...

And so...the party began to break up around 11:45...the shuttle bus having arrived for the return trip to Wyckoff...and of course, that is when Sandy and Mary and Sandy's high school buddy showed up, having come from a Bergen Catholic fundraiser that Sandy was MC'ing....Ok, no problem whatsoever...we hung for another hour with that posse...me showing them the pics of my turn as dirndl wearing beer wench...and a couple of the stragglers hanging on until the keg o' Spaten was kicked. We kissed the rest of the gang goodbye just as I fielded a text from Suse saying that the men on the shuttle bus had embarked on an epic fued over the greatest rock bands of all time...and somehow The Hooters were among the suggested candidates...and somehow every man on the bus chimed in on their own group rendition of "And We Danced." But...I heard later from Lisa H. that Scott stood up at one point and put the great bands argument to rest with this loud declaration: "AND I WILL SAY IT TO MY DYING DAY...Rush is better than The Rolling Stones!" This all taking place as my big sis, Cathleen, dozed on one of the bus seats... I knew that shuttle bus was a great idea...

And so...now the next 40 start for Rob...great things ahead...and what better way to welcome in another decade than to be showered with attention...plied with beer...filled with yummy food...and surrounded by people you love.

So take notes, my friends....like I said I have another 3 years until I hit the big 4-0...but someone can get to work on pulling off a little surprise holiday/seasonal themed party, right? You know, tag onto one of those March holidays...um...how about SuzAshWednesday...or maybe SuzLent...yeah...those both kind of suck...no meat, no vices, no drinking, too much church and not nearly enough fun....that's more like AntiSuz. Hmmm...Oh wait...I've got it....SuzPatricksDay!! Beers and parades and lots of fist fights and vomiting in the streets...delish! And the party won't be complete without one of you guys marching through the joint all dressed in a some naughty little kilt, carrying bagpipes just for me...you know, bring it all full circle...keep the milestone birthday tradition alive...

xoxoxo

Suz

To Amber at this difficult moment in time...sending you all my love this week, this month, this year and always...xoxo

Photos

1: Showing off the assets...and the a**...in my brand new dirndl...

2: Matthew and Tim innocently play while Suse and I plot milestone celebrations...

3: My dream 40th Birthday tailgate party...look, those guys took Scott's cornhole game!
4: Pretzels and beer...the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast...well, in my house at least...

5: Killer ROBtoberfest beer stein...as displayed with grace and style by moi...

6: A selection of the Wyckoff posse, stopping briefly upon beelining for the keg...(left to right) Charlie, Teri, Ann, Joe, Tim and Susan M.

7: Brian, Joe, Freddy and Scott, staking out their spot up front for the Big Surprise...

8: Barry and his harem (left to right) Joanne, Kerry, ADP, Robyn and Kim...and they are drinking Cabernet out of beer mugs, by the way...tres chic here in New Jersey...

9: Casey and Allison, my dear beloved friends for 25 and 30 years, respectively...xo

10: Now it's Freddy with a harem...(left to right) Teri, Wendy, Dana, Lisa, Nancy, Chris...and Pina is kneeling or squatting or falling down or something....

11: Family contingent...big sis Cath, Rob's brother Michael, sister Megan and brother-in-law Mike...

12: New BFFs, Jeff and Marty...solving all the world's problems...

13: Pugs, David, Tom and HG...NYC in the hizzouse!

14: Me, Gwen and the Beard Sisters...pre-dirndl conspiracy...

15: Mike, Joe and Tim attempting my trademarked signature pose...needs a little work, boys....

16: Dear friends and neighbors...Annie, Pina, Suse, me, Wendy, Dana and Teri...can't get enough of each other...

17: The Beard Sisters loving every minute of my St. Pauli Girl parade through the party...who wouldn't??

18: Me as St. Pauli Girl...I think my bum really was exposed because Mike and Kev's eyes are so totally downswept...sorry boys!

19: ADP and her red wine-filled beer stein...trying her best to snag that hot dirndl from my clutches...

20: Scott, Sandy and RJP drain the keg...and then begin an epic battle over the musical stylings and artistic contributions of The Monkees and The Partridge Family...

21: The Birthday Boy finally poses and closes the night with Sandy, Mary, Sandy's buddy and Joe....

See you all at SuzPatricksDay!