Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Help Me Get My Feet Back On The Ground....

Ok so...I know you all want to know how I learned my lesson...and I will get to that... I will fast forward right through the walk up First Avenue as Suse, Susan and myself gazed longingly at every pizza joint and dumpling house and taco truck and cupcake shop and chino-latino dive and Italian bakery we passed on the way to the next pit stop...and maybe we were grumbling a little that we were bringing up the Jughead rear while we were at it...and as such, I was still refusing to stop for pizza, dumplings, tacos, cupcakes, chino-latino grub or cannolis...

Soon we reached St. Vartan Park on First and 35th, where the Walk coordinators were inexplicably dressed as leprechauns and saying "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"...and no, I was not hallucinating in some delayed reaction to the evil spirits of the Manhattan Bridge...this was by far the oddest pit stop theme yet... Either way, we pushed past the group in fuzzy, orange wigs and green, plastic bowlers and Susan and I stopped to use the ladies room while Suse hit the snack table...

While on line at the bathroom behind this woman who was disrobing in the stall...a frizzy-haired, Latina girl, probably early 20's, poked me on the shoulder and said: "So, how was the Bridge?" And it's then that I realize we Jugheads are not alone in our Manhattan Bridge issues...or wait, did she know me? Nah...it really was just that hurdle all the Walkers struggle with... So I am all: "well, it was better than last time...we feel a lot less beat this time..."...yada yada yada... And then I say: "How did you guys find it?"...and she goes: "oh no...I didn't go over the Bridge...no way I was ever doing that again. I didn't even bother going over the Brooklyn Bridge...I just came right here..." Oh...huh....not sure I would have admitted that, but ok.... I just stared blankly back at her and moved on to dousing myself in Purell from the wall dispenser...

We found Suse waiting outside the restroom area with cheddar Goldfish in her hands...and she almost seemed unaware that she was standing right next to that damn Youth Crew, still in yellow, still too loud and this time doing the effing "Mashed Potato"...immediately my mood soured...that spunky sh*t was a bit much on any given day, but come on! I sneered at them as Suse led us to the snack table where Susan and I grabbed those PB&J graham cracker sandwiches and the worker said to me: "oh, The Jugheads...we have seen a bunch of you today! you guys are probably the third or fourth group...." Wench! Was she looking to get slapped? I mean, especially after the Youth Crew irked me with their sugar sweet sunshine sh*t... But all I said was: "Yeah, we know...." Ok...I shot her a nasty side-eye while I was at it...

Soon we were on our way back up First Avenue when Suse received a text from Kathy -- she and her crew were waiting for us on Third Avenue at 46th Street at a place called O'Neill's...I had been there before...and the thought of a frosty cold one was a nice motivator... We made record time, practically skipping up Third (ok, maybe not...we were at 23 miles by this point...)... We busted through the door and found Kathy, Wendy, Helen, Kerri and PJ with pint glasses in hand...the rest of the bar was filled with men sitting alone and a cranky bartender... Soon we all had drinks in hand -- Stellas for everyone! We toasted...we took some pics, none of which came out...and we rejuvenated... Back out on the street, we moved forward...and I noted to Suse that we were only 3 blocks from our hotel, to which she said: "oh please don't tell me that..." Ha!

It was all laughs for us...even the pain and the Youth Crew and the friendly competition...and as we giggled about the hotel being within reach -- can we go take a nap?? -- a group of Walkers stepped in front of us... There was a young guy, maybe 28, who was walking with the group and he was wearing a plain old Hanes t-shirt with these words on the back in black Sharpie:

I'm Walking For You, Mom
1952 - 2008

Ouch. Ow. That just broke my heart...it made me think of my own children, how they would survive without me...and it reminded me that the blisters and the Youth Crew and the hunger and the exhaustion were nothing. I grabbed Helen by the hand and, finding myself too choked up to talk, I gestured towards the guy and his shirt...and she said, solemnly: "yeah, I know..." We walked the next 40 blocks to the Upper East Side...and I don't remember sharing one complaint that entire time...

Soon we crossed East 84th Street, passing the home my Dad grew up in between York and East End, which I pointed out to the Walkers surrounding me -- none of whom were Jugheads, other than Wendy... Next thing I knew, we were walking up the East River promenade, recounting the first year when we took a moment to play Justin Timberlake in "D**k In a Box"...still hilarious! Behind me I heard Suse saying that Pina (Pina! I hadn't seen her in hours!) had texted, asking us to let them know when we were crossing the foot bridge to Randall's Island...we could see it in front of us...the finish line in grasp...

Wendy and I were leading the pack as we stepped off the foot bridge onto ground at Randall's Island...and as we followed the walking path along the East River, we heard cheers and claps as Pina, Mary and Colleen (still with the Ghostbusters nuclear power pack strapped across her a**...) jumped out from behind a tree... We hugged and squealed...and then waited there as the rest of the Jugheads crossed over... Together we walked to the 26 mile marker and made some guy take our team picture... And together we walked the next .2 miles and, with a crowd of spectators and walk coordinators cheering and clapping...and, tearing up a little, The Jugheads crossed the Finish Line together, as a team...
It was truly moving...

Once we had celebrated, we extracted ourselves from one another's embrace...and suddenly, we were splitting off in different directions -- some to the massage therapy station, some to the tent full of electric foot massagers, and the rest (that means me...) to the medical tent to visit the podiatrist... Mary had already made BFFs with one of the doctors and she walked me, Susan and Helen right over to him and he went to work. He bandaged me all up with his girly soft hands and he put a brace on the little piggie on my left foot that reverberates with agonizing pain only during the Avon Walk and when I wear super high heels...or when I walk 25 blocks in super high heels looking for a cab, which happens on occasion... Next, Mary and I grabbed Susan in the foot massage tent and headed for the bus back to Midtown...Pina and Colleen decided to join us and the others decided to wait behind for the final group of Jughead friends to cross the Finish Line... Sam and Betsy were on their way in to meet us for dinner, so the plan was for all of us to meet on the corner of Third and 49th at 6:55 and walk to dinner together. It was 5:00...
Thirty-five minutes later Suse, Mary and I were dropping our bags on the floor of our hotel room, chit-chatting and organizing the shower schedule... We were dragging a little after sitting on the bus and the muscles stiffening...but we were looking forward to a fun night out and a long awaited meal... Susan usually takes the lengthiest shower, so she hopped in first while Mary and me laid out our clothes and undressed for quick shower turnaround... Mary was sitting on her bed and I was standing next to the TV, in nothing but undergarments and a tank top...I was texting the other girls, determining their whereabouts and progress...and Mary and I were laughing about something...maybe making fun of the Youth Crew or laughing about Colleen's Ghostbusters nuclear power pack....

And then we heard it... Thump, thump, thumpity, thump... Coming from the bathroom...

"What the...? Did you hear that?" I said as Mary stood up...
"Hey Suse, what's going on in there?" I call out...
Nothing.
"Suse? Suse?" Mary called as we walked towards the bathroom door...
Nothing....
Mary and I lock gazes, both of us in disbelief.
"She's f**king with us...." I said...hoping???
Mary began knocking...
Nothing????
"Suse?! Are you ok? Suse?!..." she called...
Nothing!!!!
My heart began to race...
"Ok, Suse I am coming in!" Mary said...
She opened the door....and then she screamed...

"Oh my god! She's down! She's down! She's not moving!"

...Yeah, so...that lesson I learned? This is where that part starts....

More later...xoxo

Photos:
1. Walked right the hell past it!
2. Utterly out of place Walk coordinators...at least as I remember them to be!
3. Told you the shots all tanked! Still...I know you wanted to share those Stellas with us anyway...(if you squint you can see it's, left to right: Susan, Me, Wendy, Kerri, Helen, Kathy and Suse...)
4. My early morning bestie, Pina, greeting me on the walkway to the Finish Line, Randall's Island...
5. Jugheads at 26...smiling through the pain...(back row, left to right: PJ, Kerri, Kathy, Mary; center row, left to right: Susan, Suse, Wendy, Helen, Colleen; front: me and Pina...)... Please take note of the mammoth fanny pack attached to Colleen's a**....
6. Suse, Mary and me...back at the hotel after 26 miles....in our (your??) fantasies...!!

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