Help Me Get My Feet Back On The Ground....

Ok so...I know you all want to know how I learned my lesson...and I will get to that... I will fast forward right through the walk up First Avenue as Suse, Susan and myself gazed longingly at every pizza joint and dumpling house and taco truck and cupcake shop and chino-latino dive and Italian bakery we passed on the way to the next pit stop...and maybe we were grumbling a little that we were bringing up the Jughead rear while we were at it...and as such, I was still refusing to stop for pizza, dumplings, tacos, cupcakes, chino-latino grub or cannolis...

Soon we reached St. Vartan Park on First and 35th, where the Walk coordinators were inexplicably dressed as leprechauns and saying "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"...and no, I was not hallucinating in some delayed reaction to the evil spirits of the Manhattan Bridge...this was by far the oddest pit stop theme yet... Either way, we pushed past the group in fuzzy, orange wigs and green, plastic bowlers and Susan and I stopped to use the ladies room while Suse hit the snack table...

While on line at the bathroom behind this woman who was disrobing in the stall...a frizzy-haired, Latina girl, probably early 20's, poked me on the shoulder and said: "So, how was the Bridge?" And it's then that I realize we Jugheads are not alone in our Manhattan Bridge issues...or wait, did she know me? Nah...it really was just that hurdle all the Walkers struggle with... So I am all: "well, it was better than last time...we feel a lot less beat this time..."...yada yada yada... And then I say: "How did you guys find it?"...and she goes: "oh no...I didn't go over the Bridge...no way I was ever doing that again. I didn't even bother going over the Brooklyn Bridge...I just came right here..." Oh...huh....not sure I would have admitted that, but ok.... I just stared blankly back at her and moved on to dousing myself in Purell from the wall dispenser...

We found Suse waiting outside the restroom area with cheddar Goldfish in her hands...and she almost seemed unaware that she was standing right next to that damn Youth Crew, still in yellow, still too loud and this time doing the effing "Mashed Potato"...immediately my mood soured...that spunky sh*t was a bit much on any given day, but come on! I sneered at them as Suse led us to the snack table where Susan and I grabbed those PB&J graham cracker sandwiches and the worker said to me: "oh, The Jugheads...we have seen a bunch of you today! you guys are probably the third or fourth group...." Wench! Was she looking to get slapped? I mean, especially after the Youth Crew irked me with their sugar sweet sunshine sh*t... But all I said was: "Yeah, we know...." Ok...I shot her a nasty side-eye while I was at it...

Soon we were on our way back up First Avenue when Suse received a text from Kathy -- she and her crew were waiting for us on Third Avenue at 46th Street at a place called O'Neill's...I had been there before...and the thought of a frosty cold one was a nice motivator... We made record time, practically skipping up Third (ok, maybe not...we were at 23 miles by this point...)... We busted through the door and found Kathy, Wendy, Helen, Kerri and PJ with pint glasses in hand...the rest of the bar was filled with men sitting alone and a cranky bartender... Soon we all had drinks in hand -- Stellas for everyone! We toasted...we took some pics, none of which came out...and we rejuvenated... Back out on the street, we moved forward...and I noted to Suse that we were only 3 blocks from our hotel, to which she said: "oh please don't tell me that..." Ha!

It was all laughs for us...even the pain and the Youth Crew and the friendly competition...and as we giggled about the hotel being within reach -- can we go take a nap?? -- a group of Walkers stepped in front of us... There was a young guy, maybe 28, who was walking with the group and he was wearing a plain old Hanes t-shirt with these words on the back in black Sharpie:

I'm Walking For You, Mom

1952 - 2008

Ouch. Ow. That just broke my heart...it made me think of my own children, how they would survive without me...and it reminded me that the blisters and the Youth Crew and the hunger and the exhaustion were nothing. I grabbed Helen by the hand and, finding myself too choked up to talk, I gestured towards the guy and his shirt...and she said, solemnly: "yeah, I know..." We walked the next 40 blocks to the Upper East Side...and I don't remember sharing one complaint that entire time...

Soon we crossed East 84th Street, passing the home my Dad grew up in between York and East End, which I pointed out to the Walkers surrounding me -- none of whom were Jugheads, other than Wendy... Next thing I knew, we were walking up the East River promenade, recounting the first year when we took a moment to play Justin Timberlake in "D**k In a Box"...still hilarious! Behind me I heard Suse saying that Pina (Pina! I hadn't seen her in hours!) had texted, asking us to let them know when we were crossing the foot bridge to Randall's Island...we could see it in front of us...the finish line in grasp...

Wendy and I were leading the pack as we stepped off the foot bridge onto ground at Randall's Island...and as we followed the walking path along the East River, we heard cheers and claps as Pina, Mary and Colleen (still with the Ghostbusters nuclear power pack strapped across her a**...) jumped out from behind a tree... We hugged and squealed...and then waited there as the rest of the Jugheads crossed over... Together we walked to the 26 mile marker and made some guy take our team picture... And together we walked the next .2 miles and, with a crowd of spectators and walk coordinators cheering and clapping...and, tearing up a little, The Jugheads crossed the Finish Line together, as a team...

It was truly moving...

Once we had celebrated, we extracted ourselves from one another's embrace...and suddenly, we were splitting off in different directions -- some to the massage therapy station, some to the tent full of electric foot massagers, and the rest (that means me...) to the medical tent to visit the podiatrist... Mary had already made BFFs with one of the doctors and she walked me, Susan and Helen right over to him and he went to work. He bandaged me all up with his girly soft hands and he put a brace on the little piggie on my left foot that reverberates with agonizing pain only during the Avon Walk and when I wear super high heels...or when I walk 25 blocks in super high heels looking for a cab, which happens on occasion... Next, Mary and I grabbed Susan in the foot massage tent and headed for the bus back to Midtown...Pina and Colleen decided to join us and the others decided to wait behind for the final group of Jughead friends to cross the Finish Line... Sam and Betsy were on their way in to meet us for dinner, so the plan was for all of us to meet on the corner of Third and 49th at 6:55 and walk to dinner together. It was 5:00...

Thirty-five minutes later Suse, Mary and I were dropping our bags on the floor of our hotel room, chit-chatting and organizing the shower schedule... We were dragging a little after sitting on the bus and the muscles stiffening...but we were looking forward to a fun night out and a long awaited meal... Susan usually takes the lengthiest shower, so she hopped in first while Mary and me laid out our clothes and undressed for quick shower turnaround... Mary was sitting on her bed and I was standing next to the TV, in nothing but undergarments and a tank top...I was texting the other girls, determining their whereabouts and progress...and Mary and I were laughing about something...maybe making fun of the Youth Crew or laughing about Colleen's Ghostbusters nuclear power pack....

And then we heard it... Thump, thump, thumpity, thump... Coming from the bathroom...

"What the...? Did you hear that?" I said as Mary stood up...

"Hey Suse, what's going on in there?" I call out...

Nothing.

"Suse? Suse?" Mary called as we walked towards the bathroom door...

Nothing....

Mary and I lock gazes, both of us in disbelief.

"She's f**king with us...." I said...hoping???

Mary began knocking...

Nothing????

"Suse?! Are you ok? Suse?!..." she called...

Nothing!!!!

My heart began to race...

"Ok, Suse I am coming in!" Mary said...

She opened the door....and then she screamed...

"Oh my god! She's down! She's down! She's not moving!"

...Yeah, so...that lesson I learned? This is where that part starts....

More later...xoxo

Photos:

1. Walked right the hell past it!

2. Utterly out of place Walk coordinators...at least as I remember them to be!

3. Told you the shots all tanked! Still...I know you wanted to share those Stellas with us anyway...(if you squint you can see it's, left to right: Susan, Me, Wendy, Kerri, Helen, Kathy and Suse...)

4. My early morning bestie, Pina, greeting me on the walkway to the Finish Line, Randall's Island...

5. Jugheads at 26...smiling through the pain...(back row, left to right: PJ, Kerri, Kathy, Mary; center row, left to right: Susan, Suse, Wendy, Helen, Colleen; front: me and Pina...)... Please take note of the mammoth fanny pack attached to Colleen's a**....

6. Suse, Mary and me...back at the hotel after 26 miles....in our (your??) fantasies...!!

Tick-Tock On The Clock...

Jugheads 2011...third year...fourteen friends...39.3 miles...over $31,000 raised...

Ok so, I am still trying to figure out how the hell Colleen was moving so fast with that Ghostbusters nuclear power pack pouch she had fastened to her a**...but somehow she was...and after the first mile, I saw she and Mary only once more before we crossed the foot bridge into Randall's Island on Saturday afternoon... But I am getting ahead of myself...

For my friends and I, the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer has become a wonderful annual tradition...everything we do that weekend has become sort of a ritual, starting with our midday arrival on Friday...check-in at event headquarters...an afternoon cocktail and a group dinner... This year Suse, Mary and I added an afternoon stroll up Third Avenue in search of the lululemon and Athleta stores for Walk must-haves (organic cotton yoga pants and fuchsia bra-strap headbands...who doesn't have those?)... Forty blocks later, Suse was getting irked at mine and Mary's refusal to cab it and I was already developing blisters on my sockless, riding boot clad tootsies...and it was raining too... Against all odds, I remembered to take along an umbrella...and those of you who know me well, likely remember that I was raised by a mother who's solution to unexpected rain is: "oh well, a little rain won't kill you...run!" I never have those "in case of emergency" items tucked in my bag -- baby wipes, Purell, healthy snacks, tissues, breath mints, extra undergarments, umbrellas... I've got money, Excedrin Migraine, an Epipen and Nars lipstick...usually I depend on Suse or Ellie to mother me through these kinds of moments... Either way, I had an umbrella and I was so proud of myself...it almost made up for thinking that a 40 block walk wearing riding boots without socks was totally fine...so things were looking good... Then we snagged the only cab available on all of the Upper East Side at 4:30 on a rainy Friday, and found our way back to the hotel just in time to freshen up and meet Kathy, Wendy and Helen for dinner at Pastis in the Meatpacking District... No doubt a fantastic evening ahead...

And it was...the six of us were all tucked away between a super long communal table full of Euros and a small, round table of buff yet perturbed gays who definitely would have preferred more distance from our girly yapping... Sorry boys! We ate our goat cheese salads and steak frites and Moroccan salmon and seared scallops and drank our champagnes and Tanquerays and cabernets...and we had the best time, really catching up beyond playground chat for the first time in a long time...talking about the kids and our families and the new happenings and developments and moments we are reaching in our lives... And it was a celebration to kick off this great weekend...but also a reminder that now we are able to have those conversations with ease, when only a few years earlier there was a heaviness in our hearts...yet there we sat, this time, celebrating Kathy's recovery and survival... This is why we do the Walk every year...

The next morning, the sun not yet shining, Mary, Suse and I, all clad in various shades of pink, met the rest of the girls on the corner of 44th and 12th...Susan M., Colleen and Pina had driven in together that morning...Kathy, Wendy and Helen had caught up with PJ and Kerri along the way...and our new Jugheads, Amy, Liz and Meika, were all excited for their first go-around... We sported brand new team shirts designed by Helen and Susan M. gifted us each with strands of pink Mardi Gras/"show your t**s" beads to wear (which brought quite a few comments and compliments from the bikers along route...hmmm, I wonder why...)... With the look complete, the Jugheads were ready to roll, so we made our way together to the front of the line...staying at the head of the pack was an essential component of our "keep moving, finish strong" strategy... The only drawback to our positioning was this sticky, sweet, super cheerful "Youth Crew" in yellow shirts who were bellowing cheers and yays! and yahoos! and way to go's! in our faces and I truly wanted to shake the happy exuberance right the hell out of them...too early for that much noise. Thankfully it lasted only minutes...and at 6:45, we were off....

Not even 10 minutes later I had already fully lost sight of Colleen and Mary up ahead, and I looked behind me to see the rest of the girls taking their time... And I may have short little legs, but I walk quickly...so Pina and I kept pace and found ourselves alone together for the first six miles... And it had been ages since we had time like that together, so it was a gift...even though we wondered if we would ever see the others again. We did eventually, over on Upper Broadway...we stopped for an iced latte and saw Kathy, Wendy, Helen, PJ and Kerri...and we stayed with them until we bumped into Mary and Colleen on Columbus Avenue...the Walk coordinators had just told them they were Walkers #3 and #4...wow, we really were at the head of the pack. Pina skipped ahead with those two and I pushed through with the others until we parted ways when the group decided to make a Starbucks run on 9th Avenue... I don't like to stop...I am like that on road trips and with household projects...let's just keep moving til it's done or I will lose interest...I will want to hit a movie or grab a cupcake or call friends to meet me if I don't keep going... I figured I was ok walking alone...you know, I'd catch up with one of them along the way, wouldn't I? But wait...our frontrunners were long gone...and the others were on an endless line ordering coffee...was I being stupid embarking on this solitary mission...??? So I stopped right beneath the 11th mile marker on 9th Avenue and 58th and waited....and wouldn't you know it, just minutes later the two Susans were walking towards me...I hadn't seen them since the starting bell went off.... I was so happy to have friends by my side again...

We headed downtown together.... They caught me up on their morning as we passed through Hell's Kitchen, Chelsea, The Village, SoHo, Chinatown and on to FiDi.... All along we checked in with the other girls to confirm our positions along the route... "Colleen just texted -- they are at Mile 20!"... "Helen texted -- they are only a few blocks behind, just leaving SoHo!" We crossed the Brooklyn Bridge together, the wind whipping...the tourists and strollers and hand-holders and the Chinatown Alzheimer's Walk posse making it hard to navigate... But we stayed together and took in the scene...this beautiful, historical place on this gorgeous day...an American flag perched on top...it is a breathtaking experience.

Soon we stepped into Brooklyn and a Walk coordinator said "You are Walkers 180, 181 and 182..." Still ahead of the pack of 5,000 walkers, we were kind of surprised...but thrilled. We felt great...Suse suggested we grab a slice to celebrate our arrival in the outer boroughs...and Susan, a proud Brooklyn girl, was willing...but I insisted we push through... It was about 12:30 p.m. and the Manhattan Bridge was looming....

Now those of you who have been following the Jughead saga these past three years may remember the collective hell we encountered that first year on the Manhattan Bridge... It was surreal...like the minute we stepped on the foot path there was bad energy all around...bike riders zipping by at alarming speed, seemingly on a mission to kill us...packs of Hasidic men pushing us aside...the loud, rattling subway car every few minutes...dehydration and hallucinations...injuries and complete loss of hope. For us, the Manhattan Bridge had become a symbol of the low point we all encounter during difficult times...that bump in the road...that cross to bear... And it was Kathy -- back then still in treatment, sporting a pink bandanna over her hairless head -- it was she who pulled us through, who cheered us on, reminding us that we would cross this bridge together... And it was such a pivotal moment for us that first year...so symbolic and true...the turning point that bonded us at once, not just as friends, but as sisters. We were there together for Kathy...experiencing the toughest moment in her personal journey...and with that truth as inspiration, how could we not fight our hardest...

Even so, none of us ever wanted to cross the Manhattan Bridge again... But there it was, standing tall and foreboding...taunting us, maybe?.... But we kept walking forward...

And who the hell did we see waving at us from the bridge as we rounded the corner? Kathy, Wendy, PJ, Kerri and Helen... Weren't they a whole neighborhood behind us when we hit FiDi?? What the?? Whatever...time was ticking and the wave from the top of that sinister Manhattan Bridge was a beautiful omen...like the energy up there had changed since our last visit...our friends were smiling down at us and every little thing was going to be all right...

Ok, so there were speedy bike riders and the rattling subway train...and it is too tight on that foot path to fit groups...but no Hasidic men shoving us...no hallucinations, thank goodness...and no injuries, even better! Susan regaled us with stories and we looked at the gorgeous Manhattan skyline and the wedding party having their photo taken on the ground...and we watched as the Jamaican dude with short dreads and a Gilligan-esque sailor's cap on the vintage Schwinn stopped for a little ganja fix...every little thing really was going to be all right... I am not going to lie...it was still the low point of the walk...but we had conquered the Manhattan Bridge...it didn't scare us anymore...we could cross any bridge we wanted to and be strong and safe on the other side... Still, stepping off the foot path into Manhattan was like breaking free from a dark forest... We took in the moment, not speaking as we walked up Chrystie Street on the Lower East Side when Suse broke the silence with:

"Wait...how did the other girls all get ahead of us...???"

And, with visions of our friends enjoying a round at the hotel bar while we were still walking, I said: "See, I told you we didn't have time to stop for lunch..."

Remember...I am the girl who always leaves the house without the Purell, the umbrella, the baby wipes, the extra undergarments...so of course I am channeling my mom and thinking: what's the harm in another few hours without protein?? A little hunger won't kill you....run!

Be assured, though, I learned my lesson later on that day....

More to come...xoxo

Photos:

1. Who doesn't?

2. (left to right) Mary, Suse, Helen, Me, Wendy and Kathy at Pastis...as shot by some German tourist while the perturbed gays became even more perturbed by our bridge and tunnel posing...

3. Jugheads 2011, the morning of, just before they held me back from throttling the Youth Crew; (back row, left to right: Helen, Mary, Suse, Colleen, Wendy, Liz, Kerri; front row, left to right: Susan, Pina, Me, Kathy, Amy and Meika).

4. Colleen and Mary, walkers #3 and #4, already on Randall's Island while the rest of us are still at the start line...

5. Suse, Me and Susan...sharing a Kodak moment and pausing to let the Chinatown Alzheimer's Walkers pass...

6. Jugheads in front of us...(left to right: Wendy's back, Kerri's back, Kathy's back...)