Glad You're Going My Way...

Ok so...when I left off last time Suse, Helen, Mary and I were at Downtown Galway Hooker and we had "staked out our seats by the window"...which isn't 100% how it went down... Oh, we were at Galway Hooker...but the seating situation was far more time consuming and strife-producing than anyone might have imagined. The bar was empty...not one stool was occupied...the staff was plentiful and welcoming...and there were four of us onsite. So...initially we sat at one of those bar tables with the high chairs on the side of the bar...and our peaches and cream-skinned waitress with the bouncy auburn ponytail and the pinched brow, whom I think may have actually been too young to serve us alcohol, was initially pleasant but then all confused when we told her we planned to eat and drink and we expected more people to join us...

Then, when she was off filling our drink order, we decided to move to the window-front tables in a teeny alcove...more light, more tables, more space...we told her we were moving and she seemed ok with that, but then turned on her heels and ran off to her 22 year old manager with the kind of meth-faced pallor...and we saw her whining and pointing at us and shrugging as he attempted to calm her nerves...and we are still unclear as to her maladjustment, but honestly I think she was just scared of having to direct us...afraid of a bunch of moms all dressed in pink exercise clothes (well, I am sometimes mean and scary, but my friends aren't...).... I can't even remember what Meth-Face said when he came

over to us with Peaches&Cream sulkily trailing him...he just wanted to make sure we were comfortable, he claimed...and to make sure we understood it was table service at the tables (really...at the tables there is table service??...as if we are a bunch of co-eds!!)...but after we debated another move to the upstairs section, they both went away and we settled in. Let me remind you, we were the only four people in the joint...

It was about then that my smoky violet Blackberry Curve began buzzing...It's ADP! I exclaimed...and I read aloud to the girls: "Where are u guys right now? We're in The Village." I texted back our whereabouts...and seconds later, a giant black Denali XL pulled up right in front of the big windows...and in the driver's seat we saw Colleen, swathed in pink...and we knew she had Sam with her too...and of course we began to squeal and they snagged that spot right in front...and then right behind her pulled in The DPs -- CDP, ADP and their three young DP girls...and every one of them was in pink....well, not CDP. And we all jumped and hugged one another and snapped pictures and grabbed drinks. The DPs carried Jughead Team signs that ADP secured right to the front window of the bar (just wait til Meth-Face sees that!). We caught the group up on our Walk weekend thus far...how we were making great time and how good we felt and how much fun we were having. Soon Suse began to receive texts from Kathy, who was with Wendy, Teri, Kerri, PJ and Chris...and they were almost at Mile 14...almost there to join us. The excitement was building...

This was about the time that Peaches&Cream began lurking over my shoulder (somehow

I always end up being the cocktail waitress/bartender's point person...)...her brow was pinched permanently now, and she reminded us that we had table-service (just as Sam ordered a gimlet from the bartender...haha! loved it!...)...and then she took a food order that we randomly spewed at her...there were burgers and veggie burgers and mac & cheese and a hummus plate and soup and some pink drink for Colleen (going with the theme, the girl goes b*lls to the wall in all things...) and god knows what else...then, I gave Peaches&Cream my seafood allergic/anaphylaxis speech and that just about put her over the edge. This was the one time I loved giving that speech....though it may have been worth it to take an Epipen in the upper thigh just to see the little ball of nerves lose her sh*t...

Soon the DPs had to split, so amid hugs and kisses, they hopped in the gold minivan and off they went... And for a moment, it was quiet at the Downtown Galway Hooker as we sipped and snacked and chit-chatted... But in no time at all, we were on our feet again cheering and hugging one another as our team leader and inspiration, Kathy, along with the friends from whom we were separated back on Amsterdam and the Magnolia cupcake detour, came through the door...all in pink, carrying bags from Billy's Bakery in Chelsea....(maybe this was the Cupcake Tour of NYC after all...)... And then right behind them, Nancy and Gwen arrived, fresh from the PATH train, a giant poster board in hand exclaiming: Jughead Pit Crew...only the "P" in "pit" was crossed out and replaced with a "T"...haha!! extra creative friends I have... Soon Pina and Linda and Melissa arrived after a "browsing" detour up 7th Avenue, where they saw a display case filled with unidentifiable stainless steel objects!...huh??... And with their entrance more celebrations were had (no stainless objects involved though...sorry boys!)... We laughed and hugged and settled up with Peaches&Cream and turned our attentions to the puffy-faced bartender, who snapped a picture of us as we toasted.

Soon the bar began to fill up around us...young 20-somethings and NYU students showing up for the afternoon games...USC seemed the popular choice...and we held our spot at the bar alonngside. For a few moments I listened to the music flow through the bar...classics from the Stones, U2, Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, and my boyfriend John Mellencamp...and PJ was hanging by the corner of the bar and told me she thought this was just perfect...that this Downtown Galway Hooker was just the right place for us to meet and enjoy one another and remember where we were last year at this time. I thought back to our walk down Bleecker Street last year, when PJ's sister, Margaret, and her wife, Jill, convinced the pizza guy to hang a Jughead sign in his front window...how special they were to our experience last year.

And only seconds after I asked if Margaret and Jill were coming this year and PJ answered a disappointed "no"...... THEY WALKED IN THE DOOR!!...surprising us all..."Jugheads" written in lipstick across their foreheads. There were cheers again...and tears...our Jughead big sisters had arrived to support us yet again. It turns out they had staked out a spot near the Brooklyn Bridge and had convinced some street performers to perform a Jughead song and dance number...and while we laughed, we were sad to have missed it...but at least they had found us. Soon Jill and Margaret circled the crowd passing out shot glasses with (please no vodka!) some pink drink inside...pink! And Margaret toasted Kathy and the women who made up our team, past and present...our friends. And she said that we were blessed by our strength and unity and friendship. And as Margaret closed her toast and we gathered for a group shot, "Waiting on a Friend" by the Stones came over the speakers...truly poetic.

And amidst all the excitement, I stood back for a second and watched our friends all coming together in celebration right there at the Downtown Galway Hooker...there was Kath, the reason we united as a team in the first place...and she was right there again this year...and Jugheads past and present were supporting one another here...and there...near and far and in any way we could. Many of our teammates from last year were unable to do the Walk again this year, but were cheering us on...and we had a whole group of friends new to the team this year that we were rooting for -- Jen and Ann and LDL and Tina and Laura and Kathleen and Samara -- and they were trudging through the route, passing Galway Hooker by so that they could make it all the way, just like we did...

And the rest of us were here still...time ticking by...and none of us wanted to give up the moment...because it was such a different experience for Team Jughead this year compared to last....this year full of changes and growth for all of us.

Most importantly, over this past year we watched Kathy grow stronger every day...and this year -- today, right now -- she is a survivor.

A survivor!

That is all we could have asked for last year when we were on the Manhattan Bridge, getting killer blisters and broken knees and dehydration and hallucinations and running those last two miles up the East Side...all we could ever have asked for was what we had here -- we were together again...and Kathy was with us.

And that was what the Walk was about for us this year, I think, even more so than the accomplishment...it was the cause, the bonding, the togetherness and the survival of our friends...it was about our sisterhood.

So we stayed there together...

Well...until we all piled into Colleen's Denali to race uptown....together. We had 13 more miles to walk....

Photos:

1. Mary, Suse, Me and Helen...on the road to begin our Galway Hooking...

2. Marking our territory with the DP girls' artwork, illegally displayed on Galway Hooker's front window...

3. Greeting our fans from across the bridge, (left to right) ADP, Mary, Suse, GDP, Helen, Me, Colleen and Sam...

4. Kath, me and Sam...totally buyng gimlets from the bartender and drinking them at the table...

5. Mary, Suse, Me and Pina...getting the lowdown on Pina's enlightening shopping spree...

6. Mary, Melissa and Helen already cracking into the coffee an hour in...'twas Irish coffee though, make no mistake...

7. Jugheads aplenty...and our "Pit/T*t Crew"...so happy to be bar-side...

8. A few rounds in...convening over classic rock (left to right) Wendy, Me, Chris, Teri, Suse, Colleen and Nance...I think this was about the time Suse told me to stop straddling Wendy for the shot...

9. Jughead sisters and real sisters, (left to right) Kerri, Jill, PJ, Margaret and Kath...

10. Pink shots of unknown ingredients and a toast from Margaret...my hand with the Pepto-Bismal nail color and pink shot visible out front...

11. Team Jughead...Sisters to the core...well on the way to being "overserved"...

So Don't Just Stand There, Bust A Move...

Avon Walk Weekend....I think the biggest shocker of all is that Suse didn't have to break out her sewing kit so Mary could perform surgery on our battered toes and tootsies...and she didn't have to break out her ice packs and foot baths and Epsom salt...and we didn't limp to a cab after the night came to a close -- in fact we walked back to our hotel...and we didn't drift to a restless sleep fully expecting that we would have to be rescued the next morning by FDNY and a slew of EMT's because we couldn't get out of bed. None of that...instead, we are healthy and filled with joy and there is a spring in our (kind of creaky and sore) step... What was not a surprise at all this time around, was that we were inspired and uplifted and thrilled to be together, thrilled as a team and as friends -- all of the Jugheads, past and present, led by Kath -- thrilled to be united in this effort...and to celebrate it with one another...as I always say, we are truly blessed and lucky...and thankful.

But I am getting ahead of myself...of course, the weekend was not without its moments -- silly and confusing and odd and confounding and embarrassing...but mostly just memorable. So Suse and Mary and Helen and I were roomies at that Marriott over by Smith & Wollensky and after check-in, where we tried to scare one another with fake bedbug sightings...and after we hit the Avon registration site at that Sheraton on 7th Avenue, where my Blackberry kept buzzing and telling me I was receiving more donations by the second -- the final from a Tim Driscoll, who I could not place as a friend or acquaintance and in a panic I started texting my sisters and college and high school friends asking if I was blanking on someone that I should know...the name was familiar enough...who was this Tim Driscoll and his last minute $100 donation?? Turns out Sandy had placed my link on his Facebook page and Tim was a grammar school pal of his...a grammar school pal of Sandy's just gave me $100...a guy he hadn't seen in a few years...how amazing and so generous and I was beyond touched...so thanks, Timmy D....I should make you dinner...

So after all that, and after a detour to Helen's parents' pad with the most flawless view of St. Patrick's Cathedral and Rock Center and The Empire State Building and the cleaning lady who didn't understand our attempts to communicate in her native Spanish, we girls refreshed and spruced up and headed to dinner at Tao. So, if I am being honest, I think Tao is kind of like some cosmopolitan P.F. Chang's...all theme-y and family-friendly. Despite its once chic past, the joint was jamming with city families with young children and grannies...and we sat among them with the little buzzer the hostess gave us in hand and ordered our pseudo exotic Asian-themed drinks -- a Saketini (Mary), a Ruby Red Dragon (Suse), a Tiger Lily (Helen) and a TAO-jito (moi...). My choice of beverage was made based on my inability to metabolize the ubiquitous vodka without turning into the b**tard love child of Lindsay Lohan and Cruella DeVil's meaner sister...and also the by-the-glass price of the Moet rose champagne, which I prefer and can pound and might have put me in the poor house at $21 per flute...

So...after drinks in the bar, paid for with a generous gift from our Lisa, the other Beard Sister...our absent Jughead sister...and my SisterG....then we hit the loud and dimly-lit dining room. We reviewed the menu and chose the delicacies we wanted to sample...pork potstickers and dragontail spare ribs and chicken satay and fried rice and orange chicken...and I gave my seafood-allergic/anaphylaxis speech to the server, a little lovely pixie named Jenni or Traci or Kelli with a shaggier version of that Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby haircut...and Jenni/Traci/Kelli assured me that I would be fine with all our selections, but she'd double-check with the chef. Not 90 seconds later, Jenni/Traci/Kelli reappeared and informed me that absolutely every dish we ordered other than the dragontail spare ribs contained some form of seafood in its ingredients...and then she told me that on the entire menu, only the grilled filet mignon and soba noodles had no seafood included or were not prepared in direct contact. So my friends were taking note of the discussion and concern grew around me and I was mortified again and politely brushed the pixie away and asked her to bring me whatever they had...and THEN the manager appeared and corrected their assertions once again -- only the soba noodles were safe. Chr*st! what a buzzkill! I wanted to crawl under the table...Ok, whatever...I am happy with the TAO-jitos all by themselves, quite frankly... The food came, I picked at some ho-hum noodles and sucked back another TAO-jito while the girls sampled the various deliciousness...and we finished up just as we received a text from Kathy, who was with Teri and Wendy and PJ...they had checked-in and were hanging at P.J. Clarke's Sidecar...much more our scene, right?... We paid and thanked Jenni/Traci/Kelli, ditched Tao and headed over to meet our girls... And together we toasted and laughed and closed the night, excited for the early morning kick-off...

So let me just backtrack again for a minute and admit that for weeks Suse and I had been strategizing our approach to the Walk this year...we planned to position ourselves so that we would start at the head of the masses, and agreed that we would bust through every pit stop and bathroom break until we absolutely had to stop, not even to grab one of those graham cracker peanut butter snacky things...ok, well maybe for a picture with the team, GWB in back...but that's it. So...when we arrived at the 12th Avenue start line a little late and the opening ceremonies were already in progress, we took the opportunity to skip right in there at the head of the crowd...and that is where we were when the starting bell rang...and we were off. Sticking to the plan, we were cooking all the way...Mary setting the (mighty quick) pace...the Jughead posse surrounding us, all of us chatting and sharing stories about our children and families and our secrets and dreams and enjoying the gorgeous morning air on the River and the beautiful pink sky of sunrise, pink just for us...and the beautiful vistas of this amazing City...bridge and brownstone and foliage and points of interest.

And we walked this way together until the eighth mile where Helen and I broke off and grabbed an iced latte from Starbucks...catching up with Suse again at 9.6...the lunch stop...it was 10:00 a.m...way ahead of schedule. Still, no lunch for us....just like we planned. We kept going but stopped a few blocks later and grabbed cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery (maybe we were a little hungry after all...or maybe we can't resist a cupcake tour of the big city...), which is where Mary found us after having jogged ahead of Kath, Teri, Wendy, Kerri and PJ, whom we then lost again in the shuffle along Amsterdam. Soon we were off again...the four of us, roommates and Jughead besties, walking together all the way from Natural History to Lincoln Center (where Mary donated our extra Magnolia cupcake to a homeless dude with a prosthetic leg lying next to him) to Hell's Kitchen to Chelsea (where I spotted, not only a bona fide celeb in Matthew Modine, but an old neighbor of ours from Morton Street whom I haven't seen in 11 years...)...through Meatpacking to Greenwich Village, my old neighborhood...and lump in my throat as we arrived... And it was there, down Bleecker Street that we came to Mile 14...the point along the route where, days ago, we planned to stop and meet the extended Jughead sisterhood for a mid-Walk toast at the Downtown Galway Hooker. It was 11:40 a.m....we were the first Jugheads to hit the midway point.

So we walked off course to 7th Avenue...we entered the joint, which was empty...the staff was just getting ready for the afternoon service...we staked out tables by the windows looking out on 7th Avenue and the passersby and across to the folks being seated outdoors at Agave and the guys picking up flowers at the Korean market...and we ordered a couple of Corona Lights and waited for the others to roll in...

And that comes next...

Photos:

1. Jugheads 2010 on a sanctioned 20 second pit stop...GWB and our homes off in the near distance...

2. Marriott roomies and bedbug-phobics (clockwise), me, Mary, Helen and Suse...

3. In the foyer at Helen's family pad...Mary and Suse devising a plan to stay there night for the instead...cleaning lady underfoot...

4. Me and Helen hanging in the family-filled bar, taking Tao by storm with our seafood allergies and signature cocktails...

5. More Jugheads congregate at P.J. Clarke's Sidecar on Avon Walk-Eve...(left to right), Me, Mary, Wendy, PJ, Kathy, Teri, Suse and Helen...

6. Mary and Helen against the pink sky just past Mile 1....

7. Helen, Me, Mary and Suse...no sweat...no pain...no problems at all at Mile 11...

I'll Meet You Halfway...

I have barely had a second to focus this week...all the activity and happenings and preparations and autumn fun and games...there was the Harvest Festival and the apple picking and meetings and more meetings and the hilarious exercise of seeking out faux rabbit fur coats to borrow (which were surprisingly available in this preppy town...thanks Amy!) and vintage jewels and fem-bot dresses and very high heels and a $65 dollar wig and consulting my makeup artist for the intricate, yet probably indecipherable Halloween costume I will be sporting for the kegger/freak fest that spooky weekend of festivity always brings...and you will have to wait to see the pictures because I am not telling!!!

And then...there is this weekend...you know all about it...Avon Walk weekend is upon us...here and now finally...and thank you, my dear friends for supporting, donating, cheering on Team Jughead again this year...

We are spending the week digging out every piece of pink clothing and accessory and packing our pink water bottles and pink Jughead team shirts and pink lip gloss and pink nail polish and pink sports bras and pink Hanky Panky's and all that so we can check into some Marriott on the East Side across from Smith & Wollensky (Wolly's???)...and so we can eat a kick off dinner and sip some kick off cocktails on Friday and snuggle two to a bed, praying that the vintage NYC bedbugs don't bite...ick... Well, at least I will be bitten with my dearest and very besties...

So...what I am really here to tell you this week is that, this year, Team Jughead is not waiting until the hallucinations set in on the Manhattan Bridge before we think to replenish with a Corona or two... No, instead this year we are planning ahead of time to replenish with a Corona or two...or three...and maybe a burger and some fries and some nachos and maybe a few more beers with the Euros who stop by for some soccer or rugby or cricket game on the satellite dish...and maybe at that point a few PBR's and some long-winded conversations of how much we love one another will also be introduced and enjoyed....all together, Jugheads and Friends...at the 13.6 mile mark, this Saturday, October 16th...

So... I am almost 100% certain this will be the first ever organized mid-Walk Jughead beer fest...the first ever that we are inviting you along to experience with us. Because, my friends...I know you are Jugheads at heart and will be there with us in spirit...so even if you planned on chilling on the couch or at the club or the football field or the mall...you can grab your buddies, hop the train and chill with the Jughead Sisterhood instead...we would love to celebrate with you...and we promise we Jugheads will do our best after 13.6 miles on hard pavement to look as festive and delicious and inviting as we do in these photos up and down this page.

Come one...come all...bring your friends and neighbors and office buddies and tennis partners and (adult) kids and nephews and parents and drunk uncles and all that... Saturday, October 16th, around 1:30 p.m. until....whenever!! At The Downtown Galway Hooker, 133 Seventh Avenue South, between Charles and West 10th Streets, in Greenwich Village...

See you Halfway there...!

xoxo.....Suz & Team Jughead

I'd Walk To You If I Had No Other Way...

The other day at school pick up, as I glided through the crowds filled with friends, neighbors and fellow moms, my shades in place so that I could avoid eye contact (a trick I learned from that national treasure, The Situation...and let's face it, PTO prez=local C-list celeb...ha! More on that later...), when the cheery, bright face of my dear Helen caught my eye...she was waving to me and saying:

"Have you

started training?"

And I stood there for a moment unsure of her meaning -- training? Beg your pardon? Maybe she thought I had taken the plunge like the rest of our friends who willingly allow Mary to beat their a**es at her widely popular morning boot camp classes (aka torture sessions). Maybe my form looked extra tight and curve-free that day? But I had just come from lunch with Sam and we scarfed BLTs...I was living life. Just one look at my manicure and you know that I have not been blistering up with weight lifting and push-upping...no chance I had cultivated a hard bod in the last 20 minutes...and anyway, you guys prefer me juicy and delicious (as we say in Jersey...)... Still...training? Did she mean on the giant industrial strength photocopier at the Board of Ed offices that you need a tutorial just to turn on? Or was there some kind of professional or medical or educational thing that I don't remember I was supposed to do? I stared inquisitively back at Helen and her adorable Baby Spice mini ponytails and said:

"Training?"

She answered:

"Yes...for the Avon Walk!"

Ohhhhhhh....right, right...that little old 39 mile walk we are doing in a few weeks. Training? uh, no...no

training quite yet...in fact, I had been so focused on making sure we coordinated hotel rooms and reviewed a list of dining and cocktailing options for Avon weekend, I forgot that my sweet little tootsies will soon be the victim of 48 hours of sadomasochistic abuse...and damn! forget training! I better start fundraising (click here to help!...haha...no really, please do...)!!! How could I forget the main reason a bunch of us Jugheads were doing the Walk again...well aside from 3 days in the City with girlfriends...no, it was all for the cause...to support the women in our lives...our sisters...

Still...I lost focus...but you can't blame me...we had a lot going on these past few weeks, right.... You know...there was the new school year...and for me, PTO prez, that meant writing and giving speeches to anyone who would listen -- kindergarten families...newcomers...Back to School Night...two

Back to School Nights...the first PTO meeting...and the inevitable first controversy. We started Tim's swim team practices (including dryland!) four nights a week...Ellie's first year cheering for Wyckoff football...and Will, his first year away from me for a full day....my sweet little darling, still clinging to me at drop off each morning, not letting me go without an extra kiss, burying his head in my abdomen and grasping the back of my thighs in goodbye...and then running to me at pick up every afternoon, not caring who sees him, throwing his arms around me and telling me he missed me...my heart pinches everyday at 8:40 and 3:10...

And then we had the St. Elizabeth's 1st Annual Church Luau to attend...yes, I said Luau...a New Jersey Luau...which I might add, was planned by a host of my good friends, RJP and Sandy and Kathy...yes, that Kathy...the leader of the Jugheads...so maybe I wasn't the only distracted Jughead. Anyway, I was busy getting myself a big giant fuchsia flower to wear behind my ear and choosing what flat shoes to sport in thegrass...and we had keg beer to drink and leis to wear and dancing to awesome Jersey Shore/Spring Lake/Parker House bar bands

covering Bruce and...well, mostly Bruce...and some Southside Johnny and a little Lynryd Skynyrd (getting our churchy little redneck on!)... And we luau-ed out with Roger's catered delights...some glazey ribs and flank steak on garlic knots and all kinds of meat on a stick...and of course there was pineapple and mangoes to set the scene. And we danced all night with the most festive bunch of Catholics since the g**damned Tudor era. We Catholics do like to party...I mean, if I have learned one thing in life, it is that this must be how they kept people coming back for 2,000 years. In any case...Catholic party animals, new racing suits and prescription swim goggles, pom-poms, 1st grade jitters and Back to School speaking

tours aside, I had an unusually full plate these past few weeks...

And so, it is true...I was forgetting to remember...

And how could I forget how important this Avon Walk commitment was to me and to my friends and...to the world, I suppose too. I mean, I am sure some of you remember that it took me three separate posts to tell you all about it last year...about the kick-off on Friday night at BLT Steak...and staying in the double Queen suite at The Shoreham...and the peanut butter and jelly graham cracker snacks...and sharing each leg of the Walk with another dear friend...and the last 13 miles on Day 1...the Manhattan Bridge hallucinations...the blisters...Jill and Margaret cheering us on at every pit stop...and the Coronas at 12th Street Ale House...and our turn down East 84th Street, where my father grew up...where his mother, herself lost to us by breast cancer, lived too, and how her spirit buoyed my friends and I on that last

mile...how the breeze pushed us over the Randall's Island Bridge as if she guided us with her own hands....even when we took a break to sing "D*** in a Box" on the East River boardwalk....and how we crossed the finish line with Kathy, who is recovering and fantastic and healthy and as cool and amazing as ever...and how we all hugged and cheered together.

That is why I am walking again...for my sisters and my friends...for the memories and the accomplishment...

So, I forgot to train...not tragic.... So my juicy and delicious (ha!) body will be broken and my feet will have blisters and I may have hallucinations on the Manhattan Bridge yet again (well then I will just need to pound another beer at mile 17...)...but

none of those ailments or drawbacks require me to have chemo or experience hair loss and rapid weight loss and loss in general.... And since I brought it up...none of these daily distractions and minor issues and

major controversies and full schedules and canceled plans and bumps in the road that have been distracting me require chemo either....

So now I am remembering to remember...and reminding you too.

Go Jugheads!!

xoxo, Suz

Photos:

1. A bevy of local celebs pawing at my juicy-deliciousness...clockwise from top: Karen, Kath, Suse, ADP, me, Ann and TJ...and some guy...

2. Jugheads 2009 on the Upper West Side...

3. Tim, Ellie and Will...my main distractions...on the first day of school...

4. TJ, Me and my giant fuchsia flower barrette thing...drinking, dancing and singing "Sweet Home Alabama" with the other Catholics...

5. Me and Kath...remembering here to embrace life...and one another...

6. Jugheads 2009 at the 12th Street Ale House...I stand by my assertion, this still ranks in the Top 5 of my most memorable beer moments...

7. A selection of original Jugheads...many of us on the way back for more in a few weeks...we will miss the rest of you!!