And Nothing Left to Lose...

"Since when has forgiveness become a more honorable quality than loyalty?"

Roger Sterling, Senior Partner, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and 1960's American philosopher

Summer's end...this year, like every other year, it's a bit sad to wave goodbye to the sand and the sun and country club snack bars and beach vacations and the barbecues and cocktails on the patio and the sunsets over the water and lazy mornings with the kids. But I love this time of year...it is gorgeous and happy and filled with the impending excitement of what is to come...the kids in their new sneakers...picking out clothes and testing hairstyles for the first day...catching up with their classmates at the town fireworks and in the bouncy houses scattered all over The Knolls while the Moms

chat and the Dads play corn-hole (sounds obscene...it isn't...)... And among my group of friends, a sure sign that it is September comes at Wendy and Roger's annual backyard bash. Every year they outdo themselves and show our friends the most gracious good time..always a surprise in store...always great

music...always beyond festive and fun and joyful. Wendy and Roger's party sets the tone for the season...it is how we say goodbye to the summer...how we welcome the return of the daily grind...congregating

among friends on this beautiful weekend, having the chance to eat, drink, be merry and dance all night long with the people who surround us, whom we depend on and whom we cross paths with in our daily lives... And it is really a great way to welcome such a lovely time of year...

Still, I would be lying if I didn't note that amidst all the Labor Day long weekending and Back to School activity, it occurs to me what else this week brings....nine years ago this weekend...like the blink of an eye...or was it a lifetime ago? Every year I feel like I can't let it pass without acknowledging the moment...because I was blessed to have those I love return to me that Tuesday...and because others that I love were not so lucky....

A few weeks ago, during a lunchtime break from the beach, Ellie asked what all this talk was on the TV about some new building near Ground Zero. She had heard that our president had made a statement...and she didn't understand why people were angry...why people on TV were mad at the president...why were they saying that someone might actually build something on that site. My children are sensitive to talk of September 11th...they know their grandfather was there...and they know that we waited all day for him as I sat, only days away from giving birth to Tim.

I have strong opinions on the mosque issue, you might imagine...not only because someone I dearly love was a firsthand witness to the mayhem...but also because others I love lost those close to them and still feel the pinch on a daily basis...and it is their feelings and opinions that mean most to me in forming my own. So when I explained the newest developments to my kids that afternoon on the Gulfside veranda, I was certain to make clear my belief in the freedom of religion, and the basic right to worship as you choose...because I want them to understand how strongly I hold that belief, regardless of my personal feelings and reactions to this whole mess. I told them that we can all lose sight of basic human rights sometimes...that I too felt that blanket hatred in the months after the attacks. I told them about the time three weeks after 9/11, at Tim's two week check up with the pediatrician, when I told a woman in a Muslim headdress not to sit near me...in fact, I said: "You stay away from us." I still see her face...eyes hidden behind rimless aviator-type sunglasses, a faint wry smile on her lips as she walked away. Shameful on my part, yes...but it was so fresh and I wasn't ready to differentiate regular everyday people from the attackers quite yet (and let's be honest, I was probably emboldened by some postpartum emotion...). I explained to the kids that those feelings are still raw and very real for many people today. They intently took in my words...and it was Ellie who spoke first:

"Well, I guess I understand why they are allowed to build the church (mosque) wherever they want to....but I think it is mean if they do. Why do they want to be so mean and make the people's families sad? It seems wrong to me."

Later Will asked me, eyes wide: "Ellie said Papa might be sad if they build that church (mosque)...do you think he will be sad?"

And then he added, almost to himself: "I don't want him to be sad."

The tears pricked the back of my eyelids. Children...so intuitive...even they know how difficult this subject is for the adults...even they sense the pain and the mixed emotions, still today. And I thought, well, sh*t...if my kids can comprehend the simple moral dilemma behind this controversy, then I think it is apparent what is in fact the right course of action. Forgiveness in time...but for now, showing our trademarked American loyalty to those directly affected has to be our number one priority.

Never Forget. That's what we said...

Still...all of us are in the here and now and I want to remember to always embrace that. Like the big weekend parties and the coming Fall festivities and holidays and vacations and inquisitive children and life's moments that lie ahead -- little and big -- I want to celebrate that we will continue to experience them with one another. If that dark moment in history taught us anything, it is that our biggest blessing of all is to have one another...to cherish one another...

And so....all my love to every one of you...today, this week, this year, now and always...I thank God everyday that each of you are in my life...

xoxo

Photos:

1. Helen and me grappling over a delicious "Fist Pump" cocktail at Chez Wendy this past weekend...

2. Jeff, Scott, Suse, SisterG and Robyn dancing wildly...long before Someone was nudged into the pool, resulting in the demise of his prized Crackberry...

3. Nance and me and Joe peeking in, celebrating the end of summer to the sounds of The Amish Outlaws...

4. The kids on our veranda overlooking the Gulf, Longboat Key, FL...lunchtime talks, a benefit of the kid-full summertime...

5. Ellie, Tim and Will with my Dad...keeping him happy, as always...at the White Horse, St. George, Bermuda, this June...

6. Some of the many of you whom I am blessed to have in my life...