Come On And Save Me...

Ok, I'll give you the Cliffs Notes version of our Memorial Day weekend shenanigans...Friday drinks with some of the other moms at the Brick House, the three-person conga line headed up by TJ, as we closed the joint long after the valets had returned our keys to 

us and had gone home for the night...this all while Rob and our kids bonfired in Gwen and Joe's yard, Brian and the girls in the mix too... And on Saturday, a little friendly BBQ chez Suz with dear friends, a gaggle of kids running around all night in the cool air, each couple unexpectedly arriving with a stocked cooler to go with our full bar (Crown Royal, anyone...any takers? didn't think so...), Scott hauling out his beanbag game with the beer holders on the stakes and the guys loudly cheering each time they scored...Suse and I again entertaining the group with the severed finger story (which has grown back, believe it or not....just like a regenerated crab claw...eeek), this time sistergirlfriend, Lisa H., putting in her two cents on the

 phone call she received from me mid-catastrophe...so again, my ineptitude is the butt of the joke...but I can take it. And then we spent Sunday on Christine and Jimmy's beautiful back porch, celebrating birthdays and the beginning of what will most certainly be a great summer, Mike's extra delicious mojitos kicking the party up a few notches....not to mention Christine's burger bar. Then on Monday the whole town turned out for the official celebration (I almost forgot this was actually a holiday honoring the sacrafices of our troops, though I was reminded when I read the most hilarious selection from someecards.com, which said it best: "I hope we can fit in some memorializing between boozing, tanning and f&%!ing..." So nasty...yet true...LOVE that!). So my perfect middle child proudly walked in his first Memorial Day parade with his Dad...and then Sharon and Ed's all-day bash followed...a cast of characters from every corner of town (where, somehow, over Hard Lemonades, Dana, TJ and I were talked into co-chairing a major PTO function next year...), gorgeous, perfect weather and massive water fights...even TJ got into the act accidentally and I am not sure CDP has forgiven her quite yet....actually, I am still shaking in my flip flops recalling the incident. Such a great weekend...

And now I am exhausted, so maybe I will just go into hiding until Labor Day....

I know, bite my tongue...so unlike me to hibernate. You know, there are already tons of events on the calendar to look forward to, all the way into September (hello, Flying Mueller Brothers...)...Starting with this weekend's mega-event that I will keep secret until all is evidenced right here next week...and we have the Lilly Pulitzer party at the Union League Club with RJP next week...my trip to Bermuda coming up as soon as the kids are out of school...and there are more parties and Shore weekends and concerts and visits to The Cape and Friday night barbecues by the lake and Sunday dinners on the patio at Dad's club... Not to mention breaking out the summer fashions (am ordering my Vineyard Vines strapless Tokeneke dress as I write...in "Nautical" by the way...) and my collection of toe-less shoes that show off my bi-weekly pedicure. That is my favorite part of summer...always being able to look down and see pretty, shiny sparkly rose-colored toes...small pleasures, you know...

But, I have to admit...taking a post-Bermuda refuge on the lounge by Dad's pool seems tempting...you know, spend all of July and August totally incommunicado...working on the tan, catching up on my reading, letting the kids run wild (who needs camp?)...no schedule at all...is that so bad? Who is with me? Come on...let's all just quit the non-stop attempt to fill the leisurely summer days with activities and playdates and action and some manic itinerary.... I know, impossible...it's just one of my (many) yummy fantasies...but what would I do without order? And anyway...I think I might miss you all too much...

It's just that every year when we return from Bermuda, as early in the summer as it is, I am usually pretty spent...I have already reached my tanned peak (look just like a delicious caffe latte...), swam my heart out, rode waves, biked for miles, boated, snorkeled, shopped, dined out, Swizzled, and had a non-stop hug fest with my kids....all in front of the most beautiful backdrop in the universe...that turquoise water and the magenta sunsets and the twisty roads through lush hills. And every year we are home for no more than 36 hours when the Bermuda buzz dissolves and the onslaught begins...running three separate kids to three separate summer camps...getting the midday guilts as I allow them to watch iCarly marathons instead of taking them to the beach club to see their friends...and when I do, ending up trying to deflect their pleas for another one of those giant, nasty, red, white and blue "rocket" ice pops from the snack shack that will leave them covered in sticky Red Dye #5...and I am always giving in, buying ice pops and fries and gum and M&M's because I am tired of being the cranky mom...and because I just cannot fight anymore...someone, save me!

Ok...ok guys, I can hear a thunderstorm of breadwinner eye-rolling through the screen...I know sitting at a desk in front of a computer while the summer sun beats on your window is no fun either, because I have been there...I know that the daily grind for you guys never ends, no matter the season...and I know you would give just about anything to spend entire weeks running around with your kids, eating a little ice cream at the beach and having some free time to hit the links and chill at the Men's Grill, a refreshing little Grey Goose and tonic in hand (two limes)...so I am sorry to, even for a second, act as though filling the long days at home is some form of waterboarding or something. I am fully aware that the summer malaise is the best of all malaises to have...I just have to remind myself every once in a while... It is hard to remember to take pleasure in the daily routine...to be thankful for these life moments...

And then something happened this past weekend that snapped me back to reality...two seemingly unrelated events that had my head spinning when all was said and done...stunned by the irony...

Last Thursday my very best friend, Allison (you know...Barbie collection, rainbow suspenders, Day of Our Lives aficionado by age 5...), called me to let me know that her Auntie Marylou had died. Allison and I have been closest friends, like sisters, since we were nine years old...and Auntie Marylou was a fixture in my life as in hers, because she was the maiden aunt who had never married and had no children, always there on holidays and events. Mary

lou didn't add much to the conversation ever, but she remembered to ask after my parents and siblings and children...always. So upon hearing the news, Allison and I shed a few quiet tears, whispering to one another that it was just so sad, because Marylou was lonely and she didn't have any friends really and so she just faded a little into the background. We had secretly called her Eleanor Rigby (god, we were always such brats...funny though, right???), back in the day...and now that she had died, it seemed even more so...

But...the next day Allison called again...this time to tell me that her dad, Auntie Marylou's brother and sole survivor, had made the decision to have Marylou's organs donated...and the family had learned that Marylou's liver had been in perfect shape...and had been shipped to a hospital in Pittsburgh to save a dying person's life. And we cried again, this time with happiness in our tears because finally, in death, Marylou had given someone life. She wasn't just hanging in the corner anymore, Eleanor Rigby and all...her life had made an impact. And we were so happy...and thankful...What a lovely ending...

And then...

This Saturday night we got a message from my sister, Tricia...my friends were still out on the deck, Rob having just lit his chiminea, flames shooting 8 feet in the air, a little Eric Clapton on the Bose...the message went something like this:

"Please, please pray for Ashley...she is in Intensive Care at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital with debilitating stomach pains and extreme jaundice...we will keep you posted."

Ashley is my niece, Andie's, very best friend...since pre-kindergarten, constantly together, even when parted by school districts and diametrically opposing interests and extra-curriculars...Ashley is the effortless braniac, lover of Harry Potter movies and roller-coasters...Andie the theatrically gifted one, prone to massive button-pushing and sarcastic quips (hmmmm...who does she take after??)... Andie and Ashley even jokingly list their status on Facebook as "married" to one another. So, you know...Ashley is to Andie what Allison is to me...her other half and soul sister...unlikely matches, made in heaven. Upon hearing the news, my heart began to bleed...she was healthy and perfect days before, this came out of nowhere...

I was sitting on Christine and Jimmy's back porch Sunday night watching all of our friends' kids run wild, making each other laugh, when I learned via text that the Ashley's condition was dire. She needed a liver transplant within 24 to 48 hours... Of course we were dumbfounded. We went home that night and I crawled into bed and sobbed with my pillow over my head so the kids wouldn't hear me...trying to shake the sympathy pains I was feeling for Ashley's parents...and my niece...I couldn't imagine...

But it was the irony that just blew my mind and still does...here we were, only days prior, elated at the thought that Auntie Marylou had given another person life through her death. And here now,we are helpless watching a bright, sweet sixteen year old girl, her whole life ahead

 of her, facing the unthinkable... The fact

that I was so closely and rapidly experiencing both sides of this issue was incredible to me...what kind of lesson is this? So we just prayed...

And we got a liver! On Tuesday afternoon Ashley went in for her transplant...the same day we attended Marylou's wake where her brother and nephews, Allison's dad and brothers, sported lapel pins that said Donate Life and little green wrist bands with the same slogan were available for the taking...my kids are wearing them now. And this morning my Dad called out of his office as I walked by (yes, am working with him for a few weeks...that's a whole different story...) to tell me that he had received word that after 12 hours, at 2 a.m. this morning, Ashley came out of surgery and she is strong...vital signs good. A long road ahead...but what a blessing. I am choked up still.

Ok...so I am not perfect...I have lots of flaws and fears and ineptitude and can be a total screw up a lot of the time...and you definitely don't want me around in a crisis, we have established that. I take things for granted and I forget to be caring and giving and patient to those that I love... So for me to be preachy to you, my friends, is ridiculous...not like me at all (although I do enjoy being controlling and bossy at times...). But I think there has to be a reason that these two linked, yet separate, events happened to people in my life...to soul sisters and very best friends...it must mean that I had to tell all of you...so that you would see from both sides, as I have now, to Donate Life is one of the most precious gifts we can ever give. Tough to think about, but should the decision ever be mine, I know I will not hesitate...

Ok...so off the soapbox and no more serious talk of Eleanor Rigbys and tragedies averted...just uplifting fun and good times ahead this summer. So, forget that summer malaise, I am going to do whatever I want and have the best damn time I can every minute, starting with that mega-event I am hitting this weekend. No hints, so don't bother asking....just let your imaginations run wild...and no, it is not the St. E's parish picnic...though you will see me there too, for sure... I don't want to miss the chance to buy my kids one of those giant, nasty, red, white and blue "rocket" ice pops...I will even welcome the Red Dye #5 dripping off their chins...the deliciously sticky taste of summer fun...

Love you...mean it...

xoxo

Suz

PS Sending you all of our love, Ashley....

Photo 1: Long Weekend? Housewives on the loose...which one is the bad influence? Not me!

Photo 2: A gaggle of our children, friends and neighbors celebrating good times...what it's all about, right?

Photo 3: Mike concentrates while concocting his special secret mojito brew...it's all in the wrist...

Photo 4: The Tokeneke dress by Vineyard Vines...in Nautical...as worn by my twin...(stop laughing...).

Photo 5: Me, my kids and nephew soaking in the Bermuda mystique...do we have to go back to the grind? Can't we just stay???

Photo 6: The Rocket...my hands are getting sticky just looking at it...

Photo 7: Grey Goose and tonic...who can resist such sparkly summer deliciousness?

Photo 8: My mirror soul and very best friend., Allison...30 years and counting.

Photo 9: Mirror souls and very best friends, Ashley and Andie, December '99...

Photo 10: Now 16...still soul sisters...Ashley and Andie...

Photo 11: Donate Life...

Photo 12: My jealous and possessive 5 1/2 year old. Ok, so he's covered in Mint Chip and not Red Dye #5...still the sweetest, most kissable face in town, stickiness and all...